Life After Nova: sequel to Life After Station 51
by storyweaver60
Summary: This story designed to examine life outside of the station and will also have some canon materials. Characterization in this story is built on the last. The T rating is due to language, violence and race issues. I don't own these characters or have any claim to the show Emergency! Please feel free to review but be constructive. I do not keep anonymous reviews.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 These are the Days of Our Life**

It was two months past their second anniversary. This last one had been spent quite differently than the first. Nova had developed her first cold and even though she would have been fine the Gage's cancelled their plans and stayed home with Nova. Taking turns, they slept in the recliner to help with her breathing and held her in the bathroom with the hot water running in the shower to help with her croupy cough. JJ found watching her husband tending their daughter so tenderly more romantic than the bed and breakfast getaway ever would have been anyway.

JJ lay awake near her husband's side that December morning, listening to his steady breathing and gently caressing his hair. Even now, after over two years, she found Johnny entrancing. In the wee hours before dawn, she still tended to wake out of habit for Nova. Now at seven months Nova slept through the night. Johnny had been of great help during those first months; insisting he take his turn getting up with their daughter even if it meant going to work tired. Johnny was resolute in being an involved father. "I only have a few memories of my own parents Janes," he'd explained. "I want Nova to have lots of memories with me. I want to have no regrets, Angel," Johnny had said with a plea for understanding in his brown eyes. JJ understood. She had all the times he was working to be there for Nova. Even so sometimes JJ woke first and let him sleep if she knew he was especially tired. If he got up she occasionally stole into the nursery and spied as her husband tenderly cared for Nova and sang little made up lullabies as he rocked her back to sleep.

Nova was a little copy of her father with his charm, coloring and dark hair even down to the crooked grin she flashed. However, she had her mother's eye shape. Johnny insisted she had JJ's tush, but JJ wasn't convinced. It did make her grin when he said it. JJ had no doubt she would be quite the charmer and would draw boys like honey when she grew up. Nova already was quickly learning how to charm her parents. JJ smiled at how Nova could wrangle things out of either of them and shook her head in dismayed amusement.

She strained to see the time, 4:00 am, and knew Nova wouldn't wake until 7:00 am. She felt Dudley move at the bottom of the bed; he turned in a tight circle before flopping up against the back of her leg. Johnny stirred a bit in his sleep, and he lifted his arm off of his eyes, squinting over at JJ. "Hey," he whispered giving a crooked smile. She smiled back and brushed her finger tips along his cheek.

"Hey," she whispered back.

"Any reasons why you are watching me sleep, again?" he asked softly.

"Well, it happens to be my third favorite pass time," JJ explained quite matter of fact.

"Only your third? So what is first and second?" Johnny queried, slightly disappointed.

"Um, second favorite is spending time with Nova," she said impishly.

"Okay, and the first?" Johnny asked now awake and interested, brushing her hair away from her face.

"Yeah, first favorite is how we ended up pregnant with Nova," JJ said with her best poker face.

"Really? _That's_ your favorite pass time?" Johnny playfully returned like he couldn't believe she'd choose such an 'odd' interest; a suggestive smile stole across his face. JJ simply nodded her head gravely. Johnny turned on his side so he faced her and pulled JJ into a soft kiss on her mouth and then moved to her ear lobe. She pressed into his nuzzle with a happy moan. He murmured into her ear, "Far be it for me to stand in the way of _your_ favorite hobby." JJ giggled into Johnny's neck and he happily humored his wife's fancy, twice. They fell asleep around 5:30 am and true to form, Nova was up at 7:00 am.

Nova was chattering up a storm gumming her toes when Johnny padded into her room with bare feet and boxers around 7 a.m. JJ had gotten up to prepare her morning bottle and get her ready for breakfast. He learned over her crib and greeted her in a high pitch voice, "Good morning princess! You are in a good mood this morning. Come to Daddy, peanut." He lifted her out and Nova squealed in delight as he gently swung her up and over the railing. Already a pro, he held her with one arm and fetched one of the Pampers that were now so popular and changed her wet diaper. He stripped off the damp sleeper and put on a dry one, snapped up the legs and lifted her into his arms and kissed her. "How about breakfast Nova? I'll bet Mommy has it all ready by now." He walked to the doorway, lifted Nova up and blew on her stomach, causing her to dissolve into giggles. He cradled her in his arms, handed his daughter the bottle and Nova took it and drank greedily. They headed for the kitchen.

Johnny had three entire days off in a row and this was the second of the three. After breakfast, they all got ready for their day. They were going to set up their Christmas tree and put up lights on the porch railings and eaves. The outside lights were a first for the family. Placing Nova in a stroller, JJ and Johnny picked up the strings of lights they had carefully checked the night before and went outside. JJ lifted the stroller down onto the front walk, while Johnny fetched the ladder. It only took an hour to string up and carefully space the lights along the porch outline. They checked to be sure they lit and decided to have the official lighting before Nova went to bed at 7:30 pm that night. In the dark, they would be more dramatic and Nova would enjoy them more.

Back inside, Johnny lay on the floor with Nova while she rolled a bit, kicking her legs and then sat her up so she could pull blocks out of an oatmeal container and then put them back in. JJ did a quick load of laundry and folded what was in the dryer while she enjoyed the show. If she was more entertaining than the animals at the zoo, Johnny was the most fun to watch while he played with Nova. He was so unguarded with her. She especially loved it when he would join his daughter in a conversation. Nova would babble and he would answer her like he understood her nonsense talk. The topics of these "conversations' were wildly random and just as entertaining. Today it was about the merits of open vs closed reels for fishing and whether oatmeal or rice cereal was better. He won the reels debate-open was better, but Nova declared rice cereal was the best only if it had banana in it.

Next Johnny helped JJ put up the tree, added lights and decorations. Next year they would need to decorate a smaller tree that could be placed up away from Nova's reach. She yelled and squealed and blew raspberries in excitement. Dudley sat in the window and supervised. After lunch, Nova went down for an afternoon nap. Johnny read the paper and JJ went to work on her newest project.

Her third book was going to be about a fire investigator who is trying to find a serial arsonist. That arsonist was now guilty of murder since the latest fire resulted in a fatality. She was currently building character profiles and making a skeletal plot outline. Her first novel was now in paperback and talks were progressing about it being translated into Spanish soon. Her second novel was generating a lot of interest from reviewers and was selling better than the first. Their first picture book had been published and had been well received. Not many authors were writing from that perspective for children. She and John were also planning a second picture book. With the help of people on the reservation, they were going take pictures of traditional family life of Indians. Many of the elders were excited to have their traditions shared with respect and honor. Buckskins and colorful calicos were being prepared for the photo shoot. The plan was to showcase the similarities of traditional and current mainstream family life. Their modest profits from the first picture book were put into a college fund for Nova.

The day unhurriedly unfolded: snack, dinner, family walk, bath and the official lighting of the porch. Nova was captivated by the glowing lights; her big smiles and babbles told her feelings. She especially liked the lights if they blinked, so the Gages kept in the flasher bulb on both the tree and the lights on the porch roof. Johnny caught all of the big events of the day, and a few minor ones, on film.

The following day was filled with all those mundane tasks of life that are the building blocks our lives. The Gage's did manage to fit in horseback riding, thanks to the babysitting assistance of the Longbows and later a visit to Uncle Roy and Aunt Joanne. That last night before he had to return to work Johnny lay awake long after JJ had fallen asleep. Johnny smiled as he gazed at his wife sleeping. When he had reached over and gently caressed her shoulder, she'd turned and snuggled closer. Johnny pulled her closer and she'd sighed and settled back to her slumber. Since meeting JJ his life had completely changed. Three years ago, he would have never believed such satisfaction could be found in all the little, average moments of his life that he now treasured most.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 Novel Issues**

During the next shift, Johnny was dismayed to learn that Al was out with the flu and his replacement was Craig Brice. Brice would stir up all sorts of issues among the men and he anticipated a rocky shift. Brice especially tended to ride easy-going and affable Eddie. Maybe it was because Eddie went with the flow and wouldn't ever commit to 'best' way to do things. He could see merits in several ways of doing things most of the time and it galled Brice, a lot.

As soon as roll call was over, the hassles began when Brice insisted on completely rearranging the drug box and locking the squad equipment doors. Richard did his best to ignore his temporary partner, but major rearrangement of larger equipment and supplies could cause slower response times in the field, so he had resisted some of the changes. "Brice, if this was your squad, I'd do it your way, but hey this is my squad. I'll let you alphabetize the drugs, but that's all, I mean it." Brice had responded with several reasons why he should just permanently change things on 110's squad to fit his way. Richard held his ground.

Brice turned to the engine crew for his appeal, "Don't you guys agree?"

The other men acted as if they hadn't heard him and Johnny was glad for his office where he could hide out. However he still kept his ears open. It was awfully early in the shift to have an all-out argument. Then Eddie chimed in quietly, "Actually Brice, I think Richard has a point. He's let you do _some_ of what you wanted. Take the compromise man. You're not permanently assigned here, just filling in." It was a huge speech for Eddie to make.

Brice bristled answering, "Eddie, you don't even know what you are talking about. You're not a paramedic, just a hose jockey." Eddie's face turned pale and the other men's heads snapped up in surprise.

Johnny came out to stop the whole deal. "Brice, drop it. That's an order. You asked for the opinion and you got one." He addressed the entire crew, "You all get back to work. Last shift was busy so we have lots to catch up on." Johnny caught Eddie's eye and gave him a smile of encouragement. What he didn't know was that Eddie had reached his limit and although he nodded back at his captain calmly, he was already planning a way to put Brice in his place.

An hour later the tones sounded for a house fire. It was quickly put out and there were only minor injuries. They were only back at the station for 20 minutes and the squad was called out for an injured man. While they were gone, Eddie had plenty of time to put his plan into action.

When the squad returned, the engine crew was in the kitchen. Eddie was working on a crossword and their captain was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee with a book. Johnny only felt slightly guilty he knew what was coming and didn't stop it. Okay, he didn't feel guilty at all; he was looking forward to it actually. Ted and Eric were reading the paper. Richard poured coffee and sat apart from Brice, who had been on his last nerve on the way back to the station. Soon Eddie remarked to no one in particular, "I need a word that means naïve or innocent that has eight letters. The second letter is u." Richard knew immediately what was up and hid his smile by taking a drink of coffee. Craig immediately spoke up, "Gullible."

"Thanks Brice," Eddie remarked penciling in his answer.

Ted took a leisurely sip of coffee and spoke up, "Did any of you know gullible isn't in the dictionary?"

Johnny answered, "I've heard that." Johnny reasoned he had heard it when they'd pulled it on Eddie a few days before. Eric began choking on coffee, but waved off the other men's concern. He couldn't believe Cap was 'in'. The other men just grunted displaying vague interest. Actually they were quite interested.

Brice looked up irritated, "It is too in the dictionary."

"No, I'm pretty sure it isn't," said Ted confidently turning back to the paper intently studying the local news.

"It is too!" insisted Brice.

"No, Brice, you are wrong man." returned Ted without even looking up at Brice.

Brice looked around at the other men. "You guys are completely wrong. Gullible **_is_** in the dictionary. I'll prove it." Brice marched off to Johnny's office. The other men looked up at their captain, who just quickly smirked and took a sip of coffee. Brice returned with the dictionary and plopped it on the dining table. He angrily flipped the pages until he found the word. Triumphantly, he pointed to the word, "See there it is, gullible: adj. naïve, innocent, easily fooled or duped. I told you," he announced. When Brice looked up the others were beginning to chuckle. "What? What?! Oh, yes I see, very amusing," he said sourly abandoning the dictionary and he poured a cup of coffee and sat down. The others began to snicker harder. Captain Gage calmly closed the dictionary, picked it up and carried it back to his office. He closed his door quietly, and laughed heartily. Then he placed a call to Roy knowing he would love _this_ story. Johnny later saw Eddie and patted him on the back.

"Pally, you're my new hero. If you repeat what I just said to anyone, I'll have you on latrine duty for a month," Johnny said with a grin. Eddie just ducked his head shyly.

JJ dusted the main room while she kept an eye on Nova and worried about her current novel. She now realized that relying only on interviews about firefighting would not be enough background from which to write. Spy novels could be written that way. Few readers would know anything about the actual act of spying and any real details would never be divulged to the general public. So any glaring errors were concealed. JJ had already ridden along with several police departments and as a nurse, she understood the medical side of first responders. She had set up a shadowing of fire investigators so that angle was covered. However there were thousands of fireman and their families and other first responders who could spot weaknesses in her understanding about fighting fires themselves. The problem was how to best approach this issue and to do so in a way that John wouldn't object. She set her plan in motion a few days later.

After hearing a knock at his door, Roy opened it. "JJ, what a surprise! Come in, please," Roy said, "Where's Johnny?"

JJ stepped into the DeSoto's home and Roy closed the door behind her. "Yeah, he's at home with Nova. I am out running a few errands and just needed to stop by," she explained.

"Joanne is out taking Chris to the dentist," said Roy thinking she had stopped to see his wife, "Jenny is at a friend's house."

"Well, actually I wanted to talk to you Roy," JJ started, "I need to ask you about something." Roy looked surprised and gestured for JJ to sit. "Okay, I am working on my third novel, you know about that." Roy nodded that he did. "So the farther I get into my writing, the more I realize I need a deeper understanding of firefighting, one that only can come from some sort of direct experience," she said. Roy's face registered a bit of shock and surprise.

"What does Johnny think about this?" he inquired suspicious he knew her answer.

"Well, I haven't told him my ideas yet, because I know he'll most likely freak out," she admitted, "I am hoping if I can get a few things arranged he'll be more open to the idea." JJ looked down a bit ashamed of her underhanded approach.

"JJ, this is not like you at all. I am not sure how I feel even being a part of this." Roy spoke softly and evenly.

"I'm not super comfortable with this approach either Roy, but I am not sure how else to approach it, you know?" she replied embarrassed.

Roy looked at her directly and something shifted in behind his eyes. "Then again, Johnny _can_ be awfully stubborn and emotional," he added with a glint in his eye. "How about you explain what you are thinking?"

"Well, I have been doing some physical training. Of course I climb regularly with John already. I have been lifting weights to strengthen my arms and shoulders and am running stairs with John. It has been great for getting rid of my pregnancy weight. We still hike regularly. I am in pretty good shape physically. I'd like to take a CPAT test, but unofficially. I need to see how close I am to meeting official qualifications. I think that will help me better understand the physical strains your job entails."

"I could do that, not a problem. Why not ask Johnny? He could certainly administer an unofficial one," Roy probed.

"Yes, I know, but this is not the only thing I need help with."

Roy's eyebrows went in up, "Oh? What else? Roy suddenly felt a jolt of concern.

"Okay, here's the bigger request. I want to experience some sort of live fire training, and then be allowed to ride along with your shift a few times. Not as an actual firefighter, but with the training I think my observation will mean more." Roy was stunned, but thoughtful. "You can see why I might need to line up a few things first so John will only blow a small gasket," she joked lamely. "I need to calculate the actual cost of being part of training. I believe I can sell my publisher on the merits of this training and then they should be willing to help defray costs. I also think the publisher can smooth the way to access to the training facilities by offering positive publicity for the department and get advanced publicity for my novel. Finally, I figure if John knows you are part of my training, he'd be less fretful for my safety."

Roy sat quietly for a minute. "Wow that is a lot to take in. Live fire training is a more controlled environment, but it is still pretty damn risky. I need to think on it a bit, okay." JJ nodded a bit surprised at Roy's cursing. He rarely did so in front of her.

"Sure, of course. I appreciate you considering it at all." JJ smiled nervously. "Well, I still have a few errands to run, so I'll let you get back to whatever it is you need to do. Thanks Roy for hearing me out." She gave him a hug. "It's so nice to have family to go to with problems. Love you Roy."

Roy smiled. "Love you JJ. I'll get back to you soon." He kissed her on her cheek. Roy wondered how he was ever going to sort it all out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 Cutting Through the Garbage**

The next shift at station 110 found Craig Brice still subbing for Al. He was more subdued than before, but still was pushing Richard to change the squad. The shift was an average one. No big or crazy runs and routine tasks at the station. Brice had pestered Eddie about how he mopped the bay incorrectly. The next morning Brice's mouth was numb after he brushed his teeth. He didn't complain, but as he drank his morning coffee it was evident something was wrong and the liquid trickled out of the corner of his mouth.

"Why are you drooling, Brice?" Richard asked suspecting a prank.

"Owajel (Orajel) in my toofpaste," he responded flatly. "It will wear wof soon."

The others snickered. Brice had plenty of opportunity explain since B shift filtered in.

Two weeks later JJ found herself facing her biggest obstacle, Johnny. She was most worried about all the subterfuge that lead up to their talk. JJ hoped he'd understand why she'd laid all the groundwork, hoped he could see the need for her training, hoped he forgive her omissions. She hoped.

Roy had agreed to allow her to ride along and if Johnny agreed to the live fire training, he would help her get it planned and executed. He'd also gotten Marco, Chet, and Eric to agree to help if Johnny gave the go ahead.

Joanne agreed to watch Nova; Roy was working covering a colleague's shift. So after dropping Nova off, Johnny and JJ set off for an overnight stay at the ranch. Her heart raced as they drove there and she fidgeted.

"Hey babe, it hasn't been that long since we've been alone," Johnny teased. "I believe, I remember some activity just last night…after Nova went to bed…in the kitchen…you on the counter..hot stuff," he gave her a suggestive look one eyebrow raised. JJ laughed.

"Yeah, I most _certainly_ remember," she answered hoping she could relax and not show her nervousness. The memory of last night certainly brought up different feelings than apprehension JJ recalled with a smile.

They drove up the long driveway to the ranch a short ways and then Johnny stopped. He got out and closed the gate blocking off the driveway. It was the equivalent of the tie on the door knob of the dorm room signal, a way for others to know the ranch was closed to visitors. This was a private getaway weekend. Otherwise, one of the guys might stop by to fish or camp. Johnny climbed back into the Rover. "Now we have it all to ourselves," he grinned waggling his eyebrows.

After they had unpacked, she asked Johnny to take a walk with her. She needed to get this out. JJ hoped it wouldn't ruin their getaway. As the path got narrower, she asked Johnny to go first. "So, I get the stellar view for once," she explained. John chuckled and wiggled his backside as he walked for effect. JJ cracked up, "Work it!" she cat-called at him. As the path widened again John stopped and waited for her. They held hands as they strolled. "Johnny," she began, "I need to talk to you."

John cocked an eyebrow. "So I figured with all your fidgeting. What's up, Angel?" She wondered how long he'd keep this tender attitude once she told him of her plans.

"Well, it's my book. You see I have figured out my background is insufficient and I'll need to have more hands on experience. Sooo, I want to try the CPAT, unofficially."

"No problem Janes, I can help with that," he offered, "You are already training some. Of course it is pretty strenuous and timed"

"I know, I know, but…," her voice trailed off.

John looked serious, "But?

"Um, I really need to experience a live fire training exercise," she tried to sound casual, "So ride alongs would be in context."

"Live fire training? Love, that is no joke," Johnny said decisively and much more calmly than JJ expected even though he ran his hand through his hair showing his agitation. "How would you get that training?"

"Well," she began a bit surprised that he had asked questions rather than become upset, "I thought maybe Marco, Roy, Eric, and Chet would help. You said they are good and I knew you'd trust them. It can be however is safest, Johnny. I wouldn't ask if I didn't think I _really_ had to do it." JJ looked down, readying herself for the worst part to come.

"Sounds like you've thought a lot about this, Janes. I do have to say that I think live fire training is a bad idea, really bad," Johnny said crossing his arms over his chest. "You'd need a lot of training just to be ready for that experience. I am sorry, but it is just too dangerous, Janey. Not only for you but for the other firemen who would be helping. We set it up to be as safe as possible, but fire can have a mind of its own. I just can't support that idea. However, I do have another idea on how you might have some exposure to fires that would be safer," he finished his voice steady but stern.

"Oh, I see," she replied a bit off balance by Johnny's whole response so far. "Well before we go through that idea, I have one more thing. I, well, I have been checking with people, trying to arrange things before I talked to you. I was afraid you'd be too upset to even allow me to talk to you about all this. I thought if you knew the people who would be helping me were trustworthy it might go better. I talked to them two weeks ago lining it all up. Now I feel like a worm, I don't know what I was thinking." JJ hung her head. Johnny was very quiet and still. JJ felt fear well up in her. I've really screwed up, she thought. I've hurt him.

"Yeah, I know about all that," Johnny admitted with a frown; his voice growing deeper from emotion. JJ was flabbergasted. "Chris accidently spilled to me you'd been by to see Roy. Then I got the basic reason for your visit out of Roy. Tenacity pays off you know. He refused to go into details, but I could fill in the blanks. Janes, I was hurt you didn't talk to me and mad you'd consider something so dangerous," his voice broke and there was a lull in their conversation. Johnny worked to maintain control of his anger which was fueled by his fear; his jaw clinched. He let out a long breath and rubbed his hand over his mouth. "Of course Roy pointed out I can be uncooperative, emotional, and stubborn in your defense," he looked sad and grimaced after the last comment. No yelling, no 'damn it', no anger. She felt even worse. John didn't turn away, but took a step toward her and pulled her closer; another play borrowed from me she thought.

"Johnny, I didn't mean to hurt you," she tentatively began putting her arms lightly on his biceps. "Of course I have anyway, I am so sorry." JJ slid one hand up to toy with his hair nervously. "It's just I have promised to deliver this novel and without these experiences, I don't believe I can. I didn't think you'd even hear me out if I asked cold with no preparation. I know what I am asking is risky and you'd worry. Now you're all reasonable and calm and haven't said 'damn it' once. I am just… a worm." Tears spilled over. JJ felt terrible. Why had she done this she wondered?

John smiled crookedly and placed one hand on her cheek, "Well, damn it, I love you Janes and I do understand why you did it. I probably would have lost my temper or cut your request off. I realize that. I love you even if you are a worm, and I'll help you get this all figured out." He pulled her into a hug. "I have a friend in movie stunts and maybe he will have a better answer to your problem. I'll call him next week."

"Yeah, okay," she conceded. "I'm a worm?" she asked still in the throes of shame.

"A lovely, sensual, worm," he teased kissing her neck, her shoulder.

"A sensual worm?" She smiled at his goofy remark despite her feelings of guilt looking up at him.

"Yeah, who knew they could be so damn sexy?" Johnny backed her into the trunk of a large tree. He put his arms up on either side of her and leaned in for a kiss that only brushed her lips at first and then deepened. He moved closer pinning her body against the tree; his hands moved under the hem of her top and upwards. "Always wanted to make love outside," he breathed into her ear, "in the daylight, with you. Now that we have fought, we _have_ to make up so..." JJ chuckled in response and pulled him back against her.

Later they lay in a patch of soft grass in the shelter of a small group of trees, intertwined. Sunlight spangled the clearing through the canopy of leaves. Both of their shirts were spread out on the ground and they lay on top of them. John held her close, both breathing heavily, bits of clothing strewn around them. JJ heard him sigh. "All I thought it might be," he told her and she felt him grin, "_definitely_ a do over." She hummed in approval. "I love you Angel, but can you promise me one thing?"

"What love?" Janey spoke into his chest.

"Unless it is a surprise party or the like no more secrets like this. I'm sorry I've made you think I won't hear you out. I'll really try to do better," he continued adding for effect, "Damn it." They both chuckled.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 Christmas and the New Year**

Their first Christmas as three was special even if it was celebrated on the 26th. Johnny had worked the 24th and 25th. Both of them figured it was still Christmas whenever they celebrated. It was just part of being a fire fighter's family. Since neither of them had parents to visit, they opted to allow someone else to do so and Johnny volunteered to work.

Johnny and his crew had put out several fires related to dry Christmas trees. It was heart breaking to put out a fire that consumed the presents and much of a house on what should have been a quiet holiday for families and time for reflection on the reason for celebration. Fortunately there had been no injuries or fatalities. The crew had gone back to one family displaced to a motel and delivered a few toys to the children who had lost everything and had no family in the area. JJ had called several of the fire wives and between them all they had donated enough cookies and other treats to make a gift package for the family. JJ had delivered it to the station so the crew could take it with the toys. Johnny was also glad on that one day to not be a paramedic. Many of squad's calls revolved around injuries related to alcohol consumption or domestic violence this time of year. The paramedic team had a difficult shift. Johnny had called Christmas Eve night before turning in and briefly on Christmas Day to wish JJ and Nova Merry Christmas. He would be home on the 26th after 6 am.

Early on the 26th, the Gage's had their own Christmas as a family. Great care had been given to each of Nova's gifts. JJ and Johnny had reveled in their shopping that year. Somehow the canned music in the stores was cheerier than the year before and the crowds seemed less daunting. However, Nova had enjoyed the colorful paper and bows more. The scotch tape on the bottom of a bow sticking first to Nova's arm and then her hand and lastly her leg had fascinated their infant daughter more than the stack-able ring toy, the stuffed teddy bear or wooden fire truck. She had squealed happily as she swung in the child swing Johnny had set up for her in the backyard, but actually spent more time playing in the box it came in. That box was intended as Dudley's gift. However, he graciously shared it with Nova. He did hoard his catnip mouse by hiding it behind the couch. The couple had exchanged gifts for each other the evening of the 23rd, neither being able to wait. JJ had gotten Johnny spring cams for his personal use and a new recliner. "Every dad needs his own chair," she had explained. Johnny had first thought about getting JJ a new electric typewriter since home versions were becoming affordable. However it seemed awfully boring and practical so he instead had impulsively purchased a pair of pearl earrings that he had found for a terrific price. She had been completely flabbergasted and quite pleased with them. She would have appreciated the typewriter if Johnny had given it, but was delighted with the romantic gift. Johnny caught the day on film. JJ could hardly wait for the pictures to be developed so she could add them to the picture album.

They had invited the DeSoto's over on the 27th to celebrate. The couples only purchased gifts for the kids. They enjoyed watching the kids open presents and then the others played crazy eights while Nova played with her new toys. Later, they all drove out to the ranch and Chris and Jenny rode the horses with John and Roy. Nova napped and Joanne and JJ enjoyed a leisurely visit. They all roasted hot dogs and marshmallows before heading home. Johnny worked the 29th and the shift was much quieter than over Christmas. Since he had worked the holiday, he had taken the rest of the year off.

On the 30th, John packed his camera equipment, wife and daughter into the Land Rover for a trip to the reservation. Along the edge of the reservation, one could find civilization such as running water, electricity and sewer hook ups. However, many of the people lived farther into the land and lacked many of these amenities. The distance families lived from the border of the reservation was directly related to joblessness and poverty. Roads went from fair to almost non-existent. Sometimes the lack they survived with was excruciating to comprehend.

A few Indians wanted nothing to do with a half-breed and a scant handful even saw Johnny as a sellout. There are those in every demographic. Even so, the Gages had found many families willing to be a part of the photographs for the picture book and were glad for the opportunity to show the richness of their culture. The publisher had sent an advance for the second picture book and they used much of it to employ the subjects for the photos. JJ was very pleased to have a positive link for Johnny and Nova to their culture.

The Indian families offered hospitality which JJ accepted even over Johnny's initial objections. He didn't want her to experience what he had grown up with nor did he want Nova to do so. Johnny still carried shame from his tumultuous childhood. "Johnny, it's for one night and to refuse would be extremely rude," she retorted softly, "You forget I lived in slums in the inner city and the boonies in the Appalachians," JJ gently reminded him, "It will be fine and an enriching experience for Nova as well." Eventually Johnny had relaxed and JJ saw just a glimpse of what he might have been like in his youth. Nova had loved the music and danced along with the hosts, much to their delight. The food was traditional and delicious. JJ suspected they had sacrificed at other meals to offer such abundant fare at this one. Johnny got loads of pictures that would be the foundation for the traditional family life portion of the picture book. As they lay down to sleep that night in the back of the Rover, it was so quiet and coyotes sung them to sleep.

The Gage's spent New Year's Eve at home. They'd grilled steaks and spent the evening throwing paper balls for Dudley to fetch in between stacking cardboard blocks up so their daughter could knock them down. Later Johnny and JJ would hide and then peek around the couch causing Nova to belly laugh. They'd had invites to two different parties, but opted to stay home. After Nova was put to bed, they grabbed a couple of beers and sat on the couch. Dudley had flopped down against Johnny's hip, curled up and snoozed. "You know John," JJ began, "I have kinda dropped the ball on planning ways to get you home quickly after work."

Johnny grinned, "Yeah and somehow I still manage to hurry home anyway. I can't imagine why." She poked him playfully.

JJ snorted, "Yeah, well I have an idea for tonight. You game?"

Johnny raised his eyebrow in interest, "Oh? Are you recycling an idea, Janes?" He could think of a couple he wouldn't mind trying again.

"Nope, it is a new one," JJ teased with a glint in her eye.

"Bring it on Janey," Johnny replied with his hands palms up, out in front of his body and pulling his fingers pulling back to his body.

JJ quickly got up and went to the hall closet returning with a deck of cards. "Five card stud, Stud." She snapped out cards alternating between them until five cards had been dealt. JJ tapped the remaining deck on the coffee table to straighten it and set it down with the cards facing down.

Johnny picked up his hand and wiped his face blank as he looked over his cards. His competitive streak coming out. "So, what are the stakes?"

"You'll see," JJ answered with a smirk as she also checked her hand. "Cards?" Johnny asked for two. JJ took one. "Okay, show your hand love," she instructed.

"A pair of queens," Johnny said with a smile. "Beat that Angel."

"Not bad foxy," JJ admitted looking crestfallen. She then showed her hand. "Full house read 'em and weep loser," JJ crowed. Johnny smiled and groaned.

"So, now what?" he asked.

JJ's eyebrows went up and she smirked. "Pick something to take off and shed it buddy."

Johnny laughed and pulled off one sock. JJ gathered up the cards, shuffled and dealt the next hand.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 Heavy Weight**

JJ had been training for the CPAT with John's help. As 1982 started, arrangements were made for her to take the test. She was able to do all of the required elements of the CPAT, but was unable to complete them in the time allotment. "I'm spent," she replied. "I knew firefighting was physical work, but man unbelievable!" she'd gasped out as she was bent over with hands on her knees at the end. Even after the test, she continued to run steps and lift weights. JJ now understood John's press to be so physical in his hobbies. It could mean the difference in a fire or rescue.

Johnny called his buddy that worked as a stunt man a few days later. He knew that they sometimes simulated burning structures for movies using stationary propane burners and smoke makers. Johnny contacted Don Smithfield, the stunt man, to check on the possibility of an upcoming stunt of that type.

"Hey Don, it's Johnny," he started and then said, "How are you? Long time no see, pally."

"Johnny, you dog, I'm great. Still single and free my man. It has been a while. My promotion to stunt coordinator has pretty much taken up all my free time. How's married life and fatherhood?" Don asked. They had been friends for many years and he had known Johnny in his confirmed bachelor years.

"At the risk of major hassle from you Don, I gotta say it's the best. I love it. It's so much better than being single. If you ask for details, I can drone on for an hour about all that Nova is doing. Janes, well you've been subjected to my ravings about my gorgeous wife before," he said chuckling, "But I am always up to talking about Janey too!" Don laughed. "In fact, it is about Janey that I am actually calling about." Johnny went on to explain her need for exposure to a more realistic fire situation to help with her novel. "Live fire training is less controlled than a stunt or so I am thinking. What do you think?"

Don answered, "Well fire is always a risk, Johnny as you well know. However, you are correct that using stationary burners would be much safer since the flames stay in one place. The heat factor is still in play and we manufacture smoke. Good news is the smoke has no toxins like you find in fires. I'd have to clear any non-cast member to be on set during a stunt and having her part of the stunt is trickier. I am working on stunts for a TV show where a large warehouse is on fire and people have to walk and crawl out to safety. Hmmm, for you Johnny I'll see what I can do. I'd say we could maybe have her part of the live run through. It would be about as risky as driving the roads here in L.A. during rush hour," Don explained.

Okay, I see. Well, honestly I don't like it at all, but Janey needs this to do her novel. I just want it as safe as possible, Don okay? As safe as possible," he emphasized. "Plus Janey thinks she can get publicity for whoever helps her on her novel research. Her novels are getting a lot of attention now," he finished with pride.

"Got it Johnny, as safe as possible, I'll get back to you as soon as I know if I can swing it. As far as publicity, I'm not sure the studio will want anything, but I'll check on it," Don replied before he hung up.

The entire crew was pleased to have Al return to work on their next shift, and he was glad to be back. He brought a large box of donuts to celebrate his return. "Sorry you all had to deal with Brice," Al apologized as he offered donuts to his crew mates.

"It wasn't so bad," Eddie said. "He was actually pretty entertaining," he quipped. The other's laughed. Al had been filled in about the pranks and snickered as well.

On the way back from their first run of the day, Richard and Al were shivering. They had a water rescue. A man had wrecked a boat against rocks and had to be rescued. He'd had a broken leg, but would be fine. The two paramedics had spent time in the water of the Pacific. "Turn on the heater Richard. I'm freezing man," Al had requested. As soon as it was turned on, several handfuls of paper punch pieces fluttered out and stuck to Al's wet uniform. "Ha ha, a lovely welcome back partner," Al said sarcastically.

Richard chuckled and teased, "You were missed pal so you got your own ticker tape parade."

Al shrugged good naturedly, "Finally I got my own parade. About time Richard." Then Al sat and fastidiously picked off each piece of paper and flicked it out of the squad window.

When the pulled into the bay and exited the squad, Al was greeted back at the station with a pitcher of genuine orange juice.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 Help Wanted**

Johnny and JJ had been talking. Even though she worked from home, now that Nova was on the move it was apparent JJ needed help with Nova's care if she was to continue writing. They didn't have a need for full-time help, just part-time. The investments they had from JJ, there was enough to fund a nanny without any real loss of principal. They had advertised on college campuses, but were not comfortable with any of the applicants they'd interview so far.

Johnny had been working to convert the attic space above their garage into a guest room/nanny suite. Eric and Eddie had been helping along with Roy. Eddie had excellent woodworking skills and was excited to get a chance to use them. When completed there would be a large bedroom with room for a love seat and a ¾ bath. There would also be a small area for a mini fridge, sink and hot plate. Johnny and JJ had three bedrooms inside, but one was used as an office for JJ and doubled as a guest room. Someday, they hoped to covert the ½ story attic into more living space.

JJ was on the phone a few weeks later talking to Elaine about the fruitless search. "I can't believe we have had no luck finding someone 'Laine. I thought for sure a college student would snap this opportunity up. Free room and board for part time child care plus a little cash as well. So far the applicants have been lack luster or non-exsistent."

Elaine replied, "That is a bit odd JJ. I know I am on the opposite coast, but I'll keep my ear to the ground for you."

'I appreciate you effort Elaine," JJ replied to her friend. JJ was extremely doubtful Elaine would be able to assist. However, she loved her friend for wanting to help.

Three more interviews and two weeks later, the Gages were no closer to finding a nanny than before. The phone rang mid-morning and JJ answered," Hello?"

"JJ, it's Elaine. I was wondering have you found a nanny yet?" Elaine asked breathlessly. "Oh, I mean how are you?"

JJ laughed, "I am fine 'Laine and you? No, no luck yet. I am becoming pretty discouraged too," she admitted, "Why?"

"Well, I am great actually. I may have a lead for you. I got a writing submission from a recent graduate student. It isn't ready to be published, but she shows great promise. JJ, I think she might fit quite well with your needs. Her name is Rachel Watkins. She finished her master's degree in creative writing/journalism in December. She is currently living in Columbia, MO getting her degree at MU. She needs time to write/edit and needs a way to live while she does that. Rachel is willing to move. You'd be a real mentor to her, JJ. What do you think?" Elaine explained excitedly.

"Wow, that's a lot to take in 'Laine! It does sound promising, but I'd need a little time to mull it over, and I'd need to talk to John, of course," JJ hedged reluctantly.

Elaine laughed, "I knew you'd want to _think_ about it, JJ and discuss it with Johnny. A writer's conference is being hosted at UCLA next week. I know you are going as a moderator for a panel discussion. I am sending Rachel to the conference and you can meet then, if you'd like."

"The publishing house is sending this girl? She _must_ be amazing," said a dumbfounded JJ.

"Yeah, the publisher isn't sending her. I am sending her personally. I feel that strongly that she is the answer for you and will be a successful writer. I believe I did the same for someone else. Hmmm, who was that again?" Elaine answered smarmily.

"Oh hush you," hissed JJ good naturedly. "Okay, I think John will be willing to check her out with me. While at the conference, I'll make a point of meeting her. Can you get me her contact information?"

"You won't be sorry JJ. She is perfect," Elaine told her. Then she gave JJ the hotel information and got permission to give Rachel the phone number for the Gage's.

JJ made an appointment to meet Rachel during a break at the conference. AFter meeting with her, she called Johnny and told him Rachel seemed a good prospect to interview. After the afternoon sessions, Johnny and JJ met Rachel for coffee at a nearby diner.. Nova stayed with Mrs. Simpson during the hour they were gone. Rachel brought a resume to the meeting. They discovered that she was the granddaughter of missionaries and had spent several summers as a teenager helping to build structures for schools or clinics on several reservations in the southwest. Her parents were professors at Notre Dame in the history and music departments. She was the oldest of four children aged 25 to 10. She had helped care for them as older siblings often do and also had babysat as a teenager. Easy going and kind, Rachel had a soft spoken manner and a quick dry wit. As agreed before they left to meet her, Johnny would invite her back to meet Nova if she seemed a good fit. Making eye contact with his wife, he got her unspoken signal that she liked the young women. "Rachel, we'd love for you to come back to our house to meet Nova and see the room. It would give you a chance for you to see the whole deal first hand," offered Johnny genially.

"Mr. Gage, I mean Johnny," said the blonde young woman correcting how she addressed him as per his wishes, "That sounds like a good idea. Mrs. Matthews had filled me in a bit about the set up, but I'd like to see it for myself. Plus you and Mrs. Ga-, I mean JJ, could see me interact with Nova." They drove her to their home. Johnny took Rachel up for a tour of the room over the garage while JJ went to fetch Nova. They met up in the house.

"Rachel, this is Nova," JJ said as Rachel knelt down my Nova on the floor.

"Hi Nova," Rachel began. She flattened herself on the floor a bit away from Nova to watch her play. Within minutes she had begun to interact with the child letting Nova set the terms. Johnny motioned to JJ to step over to the side.

"Janes," he whispered, "What do you think? I really kinda like her. I think we should offer her the trial period."

JJ replied softly, "I agree. Just like we talked about last night okay?" Johnny nodded slightly in agreement.

Johnny began, "Rachel, we are quite interested in offering you the position. It would involve part time child care for Nova so JJ can write, 20-30 hours a week depending on the need. Included in those hours would some night time sitting. We would provide you with your own space above the garage including utilities. Your meals would be included. You could eat with us or take it upstairs. In addition, we'd offer you a small cash salary. JJ wrote it all out for you. We thought a two week trial might be a good thing. It would allow us both to see how this all works out. If you stay, we'd help you move your belongings here. If it doesn't work out, we'd fly you back home."

Rachel took the sheet of paper and read it carefully. It included all they had shared, the amount of salary, policies for illness and vacation as well as provisions for use of JJ's car as soon as Rachel obtained a California driver's license. "Yes, this is what Mrs. Matthews indicated," she replied with a smile. "I am quite interested in staying and packed my bag when I came out here so I could stay for a short time if this all worked out." She stuck out her hand to Johnny and then JJ to shake their hands. "When do I start?"

"Rachel, the room is ready whenever you are," JJ said with a smile.

"Well then I can pack up my stuff at the hotel and can get settled tomorrow, if that works for you both," she replied shyly looking up with her blue to see their reaction.

Johnny smiled broadly, "Far out! I'll be by with my Rover at 8:00 am."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 Into the Fire**

Two weeks later, Johnny got a message to call Don. Upon returning the call Johnny learned that the studio was glad to help out as long as they got some sort positive press. He had talked to JJ. She in turn had visited with Elaine who had talked to the powers that be. A story would be printed in the LA Times detailing their cooperation with the author/publishing house. JJ also would include the studio in her dedication at the beginning of the book.

JJ had a set of turn outs made to fit her. She had practiced putting on the air tank and mask at station 110 several times more than necessary, but she did so without complaint.. Whatever she needed to do to make Johnny comfortable and to make herself safe was fine. Johnny had also sat her down and shared several grisly incidents from live burn trainings gone wrong, as well as a few of the stunts he heard about from Don that had caused severe injuries in the past even with the carefully plan precautions put into place. He said, "Part of this is to 'scare you', but not to make you back out. It is to help you understand the importance of following all directions exactly. Even this is not 100% safe Janes." Johnny was still not thrilled with her going through with it, but he had promised her and would see it through. Unless she fell into the burners or was overcome by heat or smoke, she should be fine. Even so he'd actually had several nightmares about her getting injured which had ramped up his concern.

Nova and Rachel were left at home with Nova squealing in glee as she swung to and fro in her backyard swing. The past two weeks had proven her to be a terrific care giver. Her other belongings were on their way to LA and the arrangement was made permanent for the next year.

The stunt run through was well planned. The entire time she would be exposed to the fire-like conditions for 10 minutes. The set was the size of a small airplane hangar and would simulate a rescue for a TV show. She made one run through only in turn outs with no smoke or fire to learn the path. The stationary burners were clearly marked and they explained the places where she'd need to crawl due to the angle of the flames from the burners. She practiced it yet again but using the air tank and mask. She was shocked at the difference it made. The mask restricted her vision and the weight of the tank made movements more awkward. The difference in the time of the run through was only 5 seconds, but it had felt like much longer. The whole idea of having your 'head in the game' and the importance of confidence in a firefighter was much clearer to her. She sat while the stunt coordinators debated a few technical details and already had identified more than a dozen places she would completely change what characters would say or do and four places the plot would need to change. Next time they ran through using only smoke along with the breathing equipment. As she moved or crawled through the set, the smoke swirling around and blocking her view, she felt panic rise up even though she knew the path to take. How must it feel to be in a strange place?

JJ sat with her mask off, resting in her lap waiting for the actual run through to begin. "John," she began, "How in heaven's name do you keep your wits about you when you are in an unfamiliar building wandering around in smoke and fire looking for people?"

"Well at first, you don't really, thus the need for live fire training. Of course, we have had a lot of training beforehand drilling procedures into our memories. Also we go in twos, which helps a lot as well. Plus we have one advantage you don't have Janes, we are going in with the purpose to rescue people and put out the fire. To go in just to experience fire, like you are, would be quite intimidating actually." Johnny looked uncomfortable then continued and explained the safety set up for the stunt. "There are cameras to catch the 'action' so we will have eyes on you and there will be a stunt person at the entrance and exit to help you out if you need it. Three places within the set, there will be stunt people monitoring your progress and the stunt. You won't see them, but they will have eyes on you. Plus I'll be here as well along with station 10."

"The studios have to have firefighting personnel if there is fire, chemicals or explosions, correct?" JJ asked.

"Yep, it is required in Los Angeles County," he affirmed. Don called over to them.

"Johnny I think we are set. JJ, you ready for the actual run through with the burners on as well?" Don asked.

"Absolutely! I've already gained a lot of insight. I truly appreciate this Don," JJ replied. She turned to Johnny, "Here it goes." She slipped on her mask, adjusted it and then put on the helmet. JJ positioned herself at the entry point. The burners were turned on. She could feel the heat already. Then the smoke was started.

Johnny tapped her on the shoulder and said loudly, "Listen for and watch for the start command, Janes." She gave a thumbs up to show she understood.

The command "action" was given along with an arm wave signal, and JJ entered the set. The blast of heat was rather potent. It felt much like getting too near a campfire. Her instinct was to back out, but instead she went forward following the path she had practiced. Even knowing where she was going, the heat automatically triggered a fight or flight reaction and JJ had to keep thinking 'move forward'. She even had to say it aloud once as she passed by the largest stationary burner. Her turncoat felt blistering; she was sure it was smoldering. Sweat had already begun to roll down her body under her clothes.

Johnny's eyes were glued to the screen where he could see all of the camera angles. His hand gripped the walkie used to communicate with all of the stunt personnel. His heart beat wildly. Even though he helped check all the safety precautions, Johnny was very anxious. He saw her hesitation as she entered and when she approached the largest burner.

In several places the burners were set to blow flames at head height over the path and she had to duck and crawl in those portions of the warehouse. JJ concentrated on the routine she had practiced. The smoke obscured her view enough she felt claustrophobic at points. Her only companion was the hiss of the oxygen as it filled the mask and the wheeze of her breaths. The ten minutes she spent weaving through the maze the stunt coordinators had set up was more than enough exposure to fire conditions. She saw the exit for the set and stepped through the door way. JJ immediately pulled off her mask to check her turnouts. Of course, they were not burning. Her hair was plastered to her head and sweat poured down her face. Johnny came forward trying to conceal his worry. He started assessing her condition as soon as she stepped out. "Hey Janes, whatcha think?" he questioned as he noted she was still sweating which ruled out heat stroke.

"That was intense," JJ replied. "I was sure my turncoat was smoking from the heat. I even had to tell myself to move forward so I wouldn't freeze." She paused looking upset. "John, what intensity of heat did you endure in that brush fire to end up with heat stroke?" she asked her eyes wide with the fear that comes with understanding.

Johnny ignored her question knowing she had answered her own question while he checked her for any injury and noted her breathing and pulse. "Janes, let's slip off the air tank and turn outs so you can cool off," he said as he started removing the equipment.

JJ had gained what she needed from the stunt to complete her novel and also a new found knowledge of the reality of what her husband faced daily on the job. She wasn't sure the latter was a good thing.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 Boundaries**

Rachel's belongs had arrived weeks ago and she had settled in. The Gages had welcomed her warmly and she felt as if she'd known them for years. After JJ had read her writing, she had given Rachel several ideas of where to begin revising her work. Some of the writing had to be completely scrapped. Rachel knew she was lucky to have the opportunity to have the mentorship of a published author and truly appreciated the opportunity. She was missing her own family however. California was a long ways from Illinois. She shook off her black thoughts and hurried down the stairs to the side of the garage that led from her room/apartment to the back yard. For the next 24 hours, she was staying in the house with Nova while JJ completed the research for her own novel. "Rachel, I guess we have gone over all the information you'll need," JJ stated. "John and I will head out then." After kissing their daughter good bye, the couple walked out to the Rover and drove away. Johnny dropped JJ off at Roy's station on his way to his station.

He pulled her close and kissed her soundly. "Janes, be careful and have fun. I'll see you tomorrow. I love you."

JJ smiled at her husband and caressed his face. "I love you John. Have a safe shift." JJ jumped out of the Rover and grabbed her bag from the back of the vehicle. She walked around the back and patted the side as she passed by. She resisted the urge to turn and wave as John pulled away.

JJ reported to A shift at station 46 to ride along wearing her nurse's uniform pant suit in March. JJ brought her turn out coat, pants and hat she'd used for the stunt. Captain Roy Desoto met her at the door. "JJ, come on in. Coffee's already on," he said as he made way for her to come into the station. The crew will report in 10 minutes. I'd like you to be there as well," he said efficiently.

"Sounds great, where shall I stow my turnouts?" JJ inquired. Roy took her to the squad and she put them in a compartment. Then she went into the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee.

Introductions were made before duties were handed out and then men were dismissed. Brad, a man on the engine, had broken his leg during a building collapse and Chet Kelly was filling in for him this shift. JJ was assigned to help Chet with latrines. She was glad since she already knew Chet and felt comfortable with him. In fact she'd requested working with Chet when she knew he was working the shift knowing it might end up with latrine duty before the shift began. Sometimes being an introvert was a drag but at least she could start the shift with a person she already knew. Of course she knew Roy, but she needed to spend time with the linemen. Chet entertained her with his latest dating story, a disastrous tale of taking his latest love interest bowling. She had dropped a ball on his foot bruising it enough to give him a limp and broke her finger later in the date when she got it stuck in a bowling ball hole. Not a good start to the budding romance. Chet took in stride however. His dating style wasn't that different from Johnny's before he had sought out JJ's advice.

One of the other men on Roy's crew was new to L.A. Roy had lost a crew member after he'd passed his engineer's test and moved to another station. They had gained a new hire, Shane Fowler. He had worked as a firefighter in New Mexico and recently moved to the L.A. area. Shane had only been with the crew for three shifts. His white blond hair was easy to spot on a scene. Shane had been exceptionally friendly to JJ and welcoming. He was gregarious and quite a talker. JJ appreciated his efforts and felt guilty she was uncomfortable around him She had ridden with Roy's crew twice before just for the day before the crew change. This shift she was set up to stay for the entire 24 hours. Her bunk was set up closest to the head door, since the layout of the older station was not easily modified for a female. She planned to sleep in a dark blue t-shirt and shorts. A sign had been made to post at the door to the bay and the other door to the dorm to signal for the others to stay out if she was in the head. JJ figured she could wait to shower until going home. She could change, if needed in the bathroom or in the back of the locker area.

JJ spent much of her time on scene with Trey, the engineer. He was about Johnny's age and married but had no kids. He was a reader and liked to talk novels with JJ. If there were injuries, she helped William and Carl, the paramedics.

After chores were completed, she helped hang hose. She had done so before on day only ride alongs. Shane had not yet been with the station, so he was surprised. JJ had just shrugged. "I wanna pull my weight where I can. I trained and took the CPAT unofficially. I couldn't do the tasks within the time allotment, but I could do them all. I can't go into a burning building, but I can help with this sort of job." Her arms burned with effort, but she pushed through anyway. As she worked, Shawn stayed close and she often noted him looking at her longer than was comfortable. A woman at a fire department was still unusual so she figured he was just unsettled or curious. Sometimes he got too close and twice he brushed up against her. She figured it was accidental, but still found it troubled her. It's just because I'm hypersensitive after the assault she thought and brushed off her discomfort.

The first run was an automobile accident. Arriving on scene she could see it involved three vehicles: a sedan, a station wagon and a pick up. The sedan was completely mangled and she doubted anyone was alive in that vehicle. The wagon had flipped over crushing in the roof. The truck was smoking ominously. Roy barked out orders. JJ pulled on her turn out coat over her white nurse uniform. William and Carl ran to assess the victims and JJ went along to help. The man in the sedan still had a carotid when William checked, but had an open skull fracture and was crushed between the steering column and front seat. Smells of blood, tissue and spilled bowel wafted up through the busted driver's window. The men moved on and she stayed to comfort the man. He wasn't conscious, but he might still be able to hear her. "Sir, help is here. Hang in there. They'll get you out as soon as they can." She stroked his shoulder since it was the only place she could reach that wasn't severely injured. It was only three minutes until he stopped breathing. She noted the time and got a cover to hide him from prying eyes knowing that with the injuries he had sustained nothing more could be done. The paramedics had pulled a woman and young boy from the wagon and a man who had been in the truck. The man had only superficial wounds and she dressed those while the paramedics worked on the woman and boy. The truck ended up bursting into flames. The acrid smell was sickening. She was grateful the men had air tanks and masks to wear. Over the hiss of water and the crackle of fire, instructions were given over the bio-phone. She rode into Rampart with Carl and his mother. William followed in the squad. The seven year old boy, Brian, was awake and quite worried about his mother even though he had a mild concussion and a broken arm and lacerated leg. She had sustained a serious head injury and was still comatose. JJ concentrated on calming the boy so Carl could concentrate on his mother. He was efficient and compassionate as he tended the mother. They arrived at Rampart with the mother, Rhonda, still unresponsive. Leaving them in the care of the hospital, the three picked up supplies and returned to the station.

The next two runs were structure fires that required no rescues. JJ stayed near Trey watching what he did as the engineer and noting Roy's role. She had helped with minor smoke inhalation and heat exhaustion at the second fire so the paramedics could continue to fight the fire. By now JJ had some sense of the rhythm of fighting a fire and could sometimes anticipate what Roy might require of his crew. When he surprised her with an order he gave, she made a mental note to ask about it later.

JJ had volunteered to cook lunch and was finishing up the tuna tetrazzini by adding crushed potato chips to the top and returned the pan to the oven for a few minutes. She had turned on the radio occasionally bobbing her head or swaying her shoulders to a song. "You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet" was playing when Chet came into to check on lunch's progress. "Does that help the food taste better JJ?" he joked.

"Yep, it makes _all_ the difference Chet," JJ answered flippantly as she closed the oven, pulled the salad from the refrigerator placing it on the table. "If you want to help move lunch along, you could set the table." Chet obliged and they both bobbed heads to the beat stopping to sing the chorus as they worked. Roy walked in and ignored the display. Roy knew JJ did this all the time at home so it was 'normal'. Chet had seen JJ at the BBQ hamming it up last month so he wasn't taken off guard either. Roy was glad to see JJ was relaxed enough to be herself. When Shane came into the scene "On the Radio" by Donna Summer was playing. While she and Chet put out salad dressings, JJ was lip syncing the words using the serving spoon as a microphone serenading Chet who played along. Chet and JJ were just goofing around, but to Shane it looked like flirting. Roy looked up, smirked and remarked good naturedly, "Is this a disco or a fire station?

Chet smiled and replied, "Can't it be both Cap?" Roy rolled his eyes, shook his head in mock dismay and went back to the paper. When Trey entered the kitchen, JJ asked him to call the others and switched off the radio. Lunch was capped off with cookies JJ had made and brought to the station that morning. She'd hid them in Roy's office so they'd survive to lunch time.

Back out the in bay, JJ was familiarizing herself with what equipment went where on the vehicles and in the closet to help with her writing when Shane came up. "What are you up to?" he asked.

"Just trying to commit this all to memory," she offhandedly replied. "It helps with making the story more realistic when you get these details correct," she finished. She'd noted he'd moved closer and was brushing up against her side, and it made her twitchy. When he'd placed a hand on her shoulder it somehow seemed wrong, and she felt she needed to leave. "Excuse me," she said moving away sooner than she'd planned. She closed the door to the compartment. It was just a pretext. She'd come back later. As she walked through the bay back towards the day room, Chet called out to her.

"So JJ are we going to take our show on the road?" he quipped.

"Chet my man, I don't think the world is ready for our talents," she answered with a grin and a pat on his back as he jogged over beside her. Chet had noticed JJ's discomfort. Plus this was twice he'd seen Shawn behaving oddly around her. He frowned in thought and decided to keep an eye on things. No reason to say anything to the captain yet. It was mostly likely nothing Chet reasoned.

That afternoon, they had four runs back to back: rescuing a fallen hiker, two vehicle accidents and construction trench cave in. She had helped treat victims at the two accidents and crawled into wrecks at times while victims waited to be extracted. JJ had checked with Dixie on the status of Brian and his mother when she was at Rampart.

"You mean the Harrisons? The mother hasn't improved. We discovered that she is his only family. His father died two years ago and there are no aunts, uncles or grandparents. We are keeping him here for now, but we'll have to call social services to find a placement for him while his mother recovers," Dixie told her sadly.

JJ frowned. "Keep me updated, huh? Poor kid. Could I see him?"

Dixie nodded giving her the room number and then was called to an exam room. She checked to see if there was time to visit Brian. William said he'd get the supplies so Carl went with JJ. Brian was groggy from the concussion so they only stayed briefly and returned to the emergency desk. Carl and William picked up the replacement supplies and the three of them walked back to the squad.

Upon arriving back at the station, JJ collapsed on the sofa emotionally exhausted. The men were rotating through the shower. Roy offered her coffee but she declined. "I'm too tired to lift the cup," she joked leaning back and closing her eyes. He wandered off to his office most likely to complete more never ending paperwork she guessed. She felt the couch move signaling someone had sat down and peeked over to see who it was. Shane had just sat down with a cup of coffee. His hair was still damp.

"Quite a group of runs," he began.

"Yeah, I'm tired from the emotional side of it all. I can't imagine what you all feel like after lugging all the equipment, dealing with heat and rappelling," she replied. JJ felt weary but was trying to keep it in perspective.

"Yeah, it's a physical job for sure," Shane commented. JJ nodded and said nothing. "You think you'll have trouble sleeping here tonight?" he asked her.

"Huh?" she asked unsure of what he meant and too tired to form a more grammatically correct query.

"You're staying the full shift and will be sleeping here tonight, right?"

"Yeah, so? I think I will be more than tired enough to crash." JJ answered.

You think you'll have trouble sleeping here…all alone?" he asked with a smirk. JJ's stomach lurched and he heart raced anxiously. "I'm just a few bunks down you know," he finished with a leer as he rubbed her arm. As he said it, Chet and Trey were just reaching the day room door and overheard his comments.

JJ abruptly stood up and pulled away. With an annoyed huff she replied angrily, "That's completely uncalled for Shane!"

"What? You didn't say anything when I brushed up against you hanging hose or at the engine and I saw you flirting openly with Chet at lunch," he replied with a creepy grin. "You have no right to act all prissy now."

"I, I thought those were accidents. Had I thought otherwise I'd have, I'd have…" JJ retorted completely taken by surprise. Chet interrupted her.

"Shane that is more than enough. She and I are just friends, man. She isn't like that at all. JJ is married, _happily_ to a fire captain at 110, and you are outta line buddy boy. That sort of attitude has NO place in a fire station," he told him pointing his finger angrily at the other man. "What the hell are you thinking?" Chet took a couple steps towards Shane.

Trey moved between Shawn and Chet. "Chet it isn't worth it buddy. Shane you are outta line. You need to leave this room. Go!" Trey ordered. Shane acted like he was a victim and trudged off. Chet and Trey moved to check on JJ.

JJ waved them both off. "I appreciate your support fellas, truly, but I need just some space. I'm fine." She walked off quickly into the parking lot with her arms wrapped around her torso. Trey and Chet immediately reported to Roy what had just happened. Their normally even keeled soft-spoken captain came unglued.

"He WHAT?" Roy shouted making his men startle; his face red with anger. Chet filled him in on what he'd seen earlier, how he'd stepped in to deflect what he suspected was happening and why he'd waited. "I understand Chet, I got it. I'd have probably waited as well. Where's JJ?" Roy inquired and then walked out to check on her. He found her in the parking lot leaned up against his car arms wrapped around her torso. "Hey JJ," he said letting her know he was approaching, "You okay?" Roy noted she was trembling slightly. She took a shaky breath.

"Yeah, just shocked I guess. I can't figure out what I did to bring that on," she confessed.

"Nothing, you did nothing. Shane had the issue JJ. I'll deal with him in a bit," Roy reassured her. His eyes flashed with fury on the last statement his mouth a thin angry line. "You still think you want to stay tonight? If you can't it is not an issue. We can plan another time," Roy added softly. He felt he'd failed her and Johnny. How could he have missed this?

JJ sighed. "I'd love to just run and hide, but I won't. I need to stay for my book and well as part of my healing. Even if he stays for the shift, I'll stay. I'm mostly offended Roy, offended he'd think that about me. And it certainly pushed my buttons from the past," she admitted. Roy had known about her past since Johnny had shared with his best friend why he wanted to see more training on how to deal with sexual assault victims on the job months ago. Roy had shared what Joanne had seen as well.

"This is a line that has to be maintained for lots of reasons," Roy asserted. "Women are becoming firefighters and in this day and age boundaries _have_ to be respected. Plus any real man would never act that way, ever." He put his arm around her shoulders. "Honestly I'd like to kick his butt. Giving him a couple of black eyes would feel pretty damn good." Roy paused.

JJ gave a wan smile, "Yeah stand in line Roy. I hate to think what John will want to do."

"I'll call Shane into my office now. I'm not sure if he'll stay the shift or not. Depends on what he says."

"I'll be okay Roy. I'll come into the day room in a minute or two. It's his walk of shame, not mine, right?" she told him acting braver than she felt. He gave her a quick sideways squeeze and went in to rip into Shane. Chet wandered out a few minutes later. "Hey Chet," she greeted him.

"Hey," he answered standing awkwardly at the end of the car. "You okay?" JJ nodded with a small smile. "JJ, if I did anything that was over the line at lunch or anything, well I didn't…" he stuttered out.

JJ held up her hand to stop him. "Chet, you are fine, we are fine. No problems okay?" Chet smiled relieved. "Well one problem." Chet looked up worried. "Chet, our act stinks," JJ said with a smile. Chet grinned and snorted and they walked back to the day room.

Chet adding, "Actually, I think my part of the act is amazing. Maybe we need to work on your part." JJ punched his arm, Chet yelped and then grinned.

"Jerk," JJ teased him.

When confronted, Shane gave excuses and tried to shift the blame on JJ flirting with Chet and her not saying anything when he'd brushed up against her. "Shane, you are suspended for two weeks without pay. You know better than this and I know you had training on dealing with women on shift when you joined LA County. We have some female firefighters and you know the expectations. Nothing excuses your crude and unprofessional behavior. Had you just owned up to your mistake perhaps you would have just been reprimanded. Not now. Get the stuff you need from your locker and clear out. We'll talk more when you return," Roy said tersely working to control his urge to punch the idiot. "I'll be in touch so you know when and where to meet with me and the chief."

Shane stormed out of Roy's office towards the locker room, packed his stuff, and then left without saying anything to the others. The other men were relieved they didn't have to talk to him. They were disgusted by his crude actions. By then Roy had called for a replacement and called the engine down for the time being. Roy made a call to station 110 to let Johnny know what had happened. "She seems okay Johnny. I know the others will be respectful and Chet is here. He is telling some of his jokes to her now to cheer her up. I promise I'll remind her to call you later. She wants to stay the shift." Appeased for the time being Johnny agreed to abide by JJ's decision, but he was clearly upset by the events. After hanging up Roy started the paperwork to go with the mess Shane had created. Johnny called Eric into his office and closed the door. Taking Eric into his confidence he explained the events knowing until he calmed down it was important the second in command knew his state of mind.

During the down time, JJ called Rachel to check on Nova. After a mostly one-sided phone conversation with Nova, JJ felt less upset. Funny how just a few words from Nova over the phone lifted her spirits she thought. Rachel filled her in on the activities of the day. JJ decided to wait until later call Johnny. He would need time to process this mess and frankly so did she.

The rest of the shift was fairly standard. The replacement for Shane arrived about a half an hour later. Randal Jones was a seasoned firefighter. He normally worked at a station that handled a lot of brush fires. Roy brought him up to speed about the reason JJ was at the station and that she is a RN knowing the other incident would be shared by the men later. During down time that evening, he had been willing to talk to JJ about his experiences. Chet or Roy stayed in the day room with JJ until lights out. She noted their hovering and decided to ignore it. They were just being thoughtful and JJ appreciated it. Plus she suspected Johnny may have requested their close proximity and she thought it was sweet even if a bit annoying. Around 8 pm, Johnny called and JJ assured him she was fine. "I'm fine John, really. Roy and Chet are staying close. The other guys are great. I appreciate you checking, love." JJ was actually pleased with how she was dealing with the whole mess. Maybe she had finally left the assault behind. She had considered being a leader for a rape survivor group and now she wondered if it was time to step up to the challenge.

"Yeah, well I'd like to clobber that guy. What the hell was he thinking Janes? I mean really. You're _sure_ you're doing okay?" JJ could imagine he was running his hand through his hair in agitation and his hair was probably a royal mess right now.

"John, I love you," she said affectionately. "Actually, I am dealing pretty well with it with exception to having to endure some of Chet's lame jokes." Johnny snorted. "Your shift has been okay?"

"Yeah, it's just a regular shift so far. I love you too Janes. I'll pick you up tomorrow," John replied. "I'd better go. The guys are walking by my door making calf eyes at me." JJ chuckled as he hung up. The good natured teasing changed to outrage as he explained what had happened earlier to the other men. Only Eric had been privy to the news earlier in the day. Johnny wanted time to gain control of his own emotions before sharing it. However his disheveled hair after the last phone call spoke volumes to his men who knew their captain's tells well.

At 9 pm, they had a call for the station to help with a fire at a refinery. Sirens at the plant were blaring as they pulled up. Black smoke roiled from several spots and the flames were blue tinged in places. An explosion rocked the site as the men jumped out of the vehicles. JJ pulled on her helmet and stuck close to the squad. Obviously, this was a dangerous fire. Fighting fires at night was quite eerie. The light shadows leapt and slid around the scene and the flashing lights of the trucks pulsed off the buildings. The hiss of water hitting flame mixed with the voices of the men and the crackle of fire. Smoke slithered ominously and JJ shivered despite the heat. Roy looked over after giving orders to be sure JJ was in a safe spot. She gave a short wave and pointed down to indicate she'd stay put. Ladder trucks pulled up, water cannons were used. JJ treated a few firemen for heat exhaustion and smoke inhalation. There were even a few minor burns. The station didn't return to quarters until after 1 am. The night only brought one alarm. It was for a structure fire at a residence. The fire was limited to the garage. Fortunately, it was caught early and was quickly extinguished. With car tanks full of gasoline, cans of paint and a lawn mower full of fuel, it could have been much worse.

When the crew returned to the station, they all dropped into their bunks. The smoky smell from the men might have bothered most people, but to JJ it smelled like Johnny. She fell asleep easily.

Riding with Roy's crew had been extremely helpful. A lot of details of rescues and firefighting had been filled in for JJ. Details both Roy and Johnny hadn't shared. The number of near misses the men faced, the danger of exposure to chemicals and the horrors they saw due to injuries and deaths. The intensity of the heat outside the structure, the chaotic nature of the scene with multiple crews on scene and the exhaustion all of it created. Fire was unruly, wicked. The flames licked up structures and out of windows like a weaving swam of angry hornets.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 Genius**

After getting off shift, a phone call to 110 revealed the engine had been called out and had yet to return. So, JJ had bummed a ride to Rampart to see Brain and check on his status. Now she waited downstairs in the staff lounge for Johnny to pick her up. JJ sat with a cup of coffee now stone cold thinking about her conversations with Dixie and Brian earlier.

Brian looked so lost in that hospital bed eyes red from crying. "My mom died," he'd told JJ. "I don't know what will happen to me. Why did this happen? Why?" he'd asked her as he again began to cry. JJ had sat on the bed and held the boy. She had no answers for him. Her heart broke. JJ's thoughts wandered to her husband and his own past loss. She had calmed Brian down and they'd played Go Fish until it was time for him to go to X-ray.

JJ caught Dixie at the nurse's station in the emergency room. "Dixie, looks like it's quiet this morning," JJ remarked after she'd greeted her.

"Yeah, I'm doing paperwork now because I doubt it stays that way," Dixie remarked dryly and the two women laughed knowing it wouldn't. "You see Brian, JJ?"

"Yeah, I am just sick about his situation. Poor kid, he is terrified about what will happen. When will they discharge him?" JJ replied with sadness in her eyes.

"Dr. Early is doing all he can to delay it," Dixie admitted in a whisper to her, "It will most likely happen tomorrow or the next day. Social services are already involved and pushing. Brian looks forward to your visits JJ. He told me so when I visited him yesterday," Dixie told her with a pointed look. Just then a gurney with a patient was hustled through the swinging doors and down the hallway. Without a word Dixie jumped up and directed them to a treatment room. JJ had then gone to the lounge to wait.

Johnny had come into the lounge about 20 minutes later soot covered. He gave his crooked smile as his eyes met JJ's. "Hey Angel. You ready?" His pet name was used only when they were alone. JJ stood up and hugged him mindless of the soot being transferred.

"I was born ready handsome," she'd said kissing him. As they kissed, Dr. Early had come in for coffee.

"Yeah, don't let me interrupt," he'd quipped dryly. Johnny had colored as they'd broke their kiss at the sound of his voice.

JJ had just joked back, "I'd never pegged you as a voyeur Dr. Early." He chuckled, his eyebrows raised in amusement.

"Johnny, you _do_ have your hands full with this lovely lady," Dr. Early remarked. Still blushing, Johnny just shrugged and smiled slyly.

"Some of us just got it, doc," he'd quipped. Joe Early laughed. A page came over the intercom for Dr. Early and he'd taken one more quick sip so he could have his typical three sips, put down the cup, and hurried to treatment room four.

JJ rinsed out her cup, Dr. Early's cup and sat them in the sink. She and Johnny walked towards the exit. JJ was telling Johnny about Brian Harrison and his mother. "I stopped to see him again today. John, he was so lost looking. I know you should keep a distance from rescues or patients, but this little guy has really been on my mind. Being all alone in the world at 7 years old that is just tragic, you know?" Johnny nodded but was quiet about the subject.

Reaching the Rover, Johnny unlocked his wife's door and went to the driver's side. "When does Rachel expect us today?" he inquired.

"By noon unless I call her, why?" JJ asked.

"Just wondered, I'd love to take you to breakfast, but I am just too sooty Angel," he'd replied apologetically as he pulled the Rover out of the parking lot.

"Let's just get my grimy man home for a shower and I'll make you breakfast," JJ told him. Johnny smiled and reached over to smear a smudge of soot down his wife's nose playfully.

Rachel was out back with Nova pushing her in the swing when they pulled up. "I just made a pot of coffee," she informed them.

Johnny smiled, "Rachel, you are a genius," he joked. Johnny went into the house followed by JJ, poured a cup, kissed his wife's cheek and went off to take a shower. JJ pulled out eggs and some sausage links to make breakfast. She also found a partial bag of hash browns and started them frying. Rachel brought Nova in shortly after JJ started cooking.

"Jane, go change and I'll watch all this for a bit," she chided. "You both have to be beat. I was planning on walking to the park with Nova in a bit so you both can get some shut eye." JJ looked gratefully at their part-time nanny.

"You ARE a genius Rachel," JJ told her with a hug. She swung Nova up into her arms and headed back to the master bedroom.

Nova clambered up onto and off of her parents bed while JJ cleaned up. By the time JJ was done and Johnny finished his shower changing into jeans and a t-shirt, breakfast was ready. Johnny walked through the living room stopping to pick up his daughter as she reached up for him. Nova was 10 months and had learned a few words such as more, Dada and kitty. He slid up her shirt and blew on her stomach eliciting a belly laugh from his little girl. Rachel had set up the stroller out on the patio and fetched a tiny jacket for Nova. She already had on her own sweater and had packed the diaper bag for a visit to the park. "Nova, let's head to the park sweetie. We'll come back for lunch and see Mom and Dad then." Then Rachel turned to JJ saying, "Breakfast in in the oven staying warm." Nova was patting Johnny on his cheeks with her hands. He kissed her and handed her over. His stomach growled and he gave an apologetic smile.

"I guess the boss speaks," he joked patting his belly and headed to the kitchen.

JJ laughed at Johnny's joke and told Rachel, "Thanks again Rachel! You're a God send today."

Over breakfast, they couple briefly discussed JJ's experiences at station 46, excluding the whole Shane debacle. "I promise we can talk about it in whatever detail you want later," JJ told Johnny. "I just don't want it to be the focus of our day. Shane doesn't deserve that amount of our energy, love," JJ explained.

"True enough, but if you need to talk about it you will, right?" Johnny persisted. JJ used a finger to make the cross my heart motion.

The conversation turned to Brian Harrison. Johnny had been ruminating on the tragedy since JJ brought it up at the hospital. "Janes why don't we go see Brian later today? I'd like to meet the young man that has you so enthralled. However first, let's get a bit of shut eye. I am bushed." An idea was rolling around in his head, but he wasn't quite ready to voice it yet.

The couple placed their dishes into the dishwasher and headed off to their bedroom. Johnny stripped down to his boxers and t-shirt. JJ took off her nurse's uniform, slipped on her sleep shirt and pulled the black-out drapes closed. With a quick goodnight kiss they spooned and fell asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 Full Circle**

Nova and Rachel returned before noon. The couple had been up and awake for about and hour. After a quick lunch, Rachel retreated to her room above the garage for the rest of the day. Johnny put Nova down for her nap. JJ was in misery. Her arms and shoulders were very sore from hanging hose. She took a couple of aspirin. Sitting out front on the porch swing, Johnny rubbed her shoulders and arms while she talked in more detail about what had happened at station 46. As she finished, JJ added, "I was just floored he could even make that leap, John. I was more angry than scared actually, you know?"

"Oh, I understand angry Janes, I understand angry for sure," Johnny had replied heatedly. "I thought Roy was going to have a stroke when he told me about it. I haven't heard him that angry in a long, long time. Him being so angry kind of kept my temper in check. He was beating himself up about 'letting' it happen. Of course I set him straight. I know Roy would never 'let' anything like that 'happen. It was all Shane's doing. Sometimes people just do really stupid things." Johnny's jaw tightened and the muscles worked to control his own emotions. "I'd still like to deck the jerk."

The conversation turned to all that needed to be done that day. Johnny changed the oil on the station wagon while JJ washed up his uniforms, did some minor mending work on various pieces of clothing and emptied the dishwasher. They had decided to to and see Brian at the hospital after Nova awoke. After gathering up the diaper bag, they took the Rover to Rampart. Dixie arranged for Brian to come down to the cafeteria for a visit. Johnny was introduced to Brian and the three of them played cards while Nova ate a snack in a high chair. Brian soundly beat them both at Go Fish and it brought a genuine smile to the sad boy's face. After ordering a milkshake for Johnny, Brian and JJ, they took a stroll around the hospital campus pushing Brian in his wheelchair. Nova shared milkshakes with everybody. Brian had asked if Nova could ride on his lap and she was happily perched on him enjoying the ride. "I guess the funeral for my mom is Wednesday," Brian had told them quietly. "The social worker, Mrs. Burns, says she'll take me."

"We'd like to come, Brian," Johnny replied squatting down by the young boy. "Would that be okay with you?" He was already seeing how this boy could worm his way into your heart. The little guy was trying so hard to be grown up about it all.

A small smile bowed the boy's lips, "I'd like that a lot, but I don't want to be any trouble."

JJ added, "It is no trouble for us to come sweetie. We both want to be there for you." The boy nodded slightly and tears squeezed out of his eyes. Johnny reached over and affectionately smoothed the boy's hair. The brown-haired boy was a mirror to Johnny and brought back the feelings he had experienced after his own parent's deaths. The Gages turned his chair back towards the hospital. Johnny changed the conversation to baseball since he had figured out the boy liked it. After Brian was settled back into his room for a rest, they turned to go home.

In the hallway, they met Brian's social worker. Johnny asked several questions about Brian's future and then looked at JJ before saying, "How does a family go about becoming a foster family?" JJ put her arm around her husband as they listened to her reply. How she loved this kind-hearted man. Later that day, social worker Sheila Burns dropped off the paperwork to become an emergency foster family at the Gage home and explained the longer process of becoming a foster family. Before Sheila left, she had the filled out emergency paperwork in hand. While Nova played on the floor, the couple began the process of completing the rest of the forms. "You know Angel, Brian's situation is so much like mine as a kid. Well, I at least had an aunt. Seems kinda poetic that we are helping him, you know?" Johnny said as he finished up the last of the forms. JJ just nodded since she had thought the exact same thing.

Johnny and JJ attended the funeral of Mrs. Harrison a few days later. A few of the medical staff came as did the paramedics, Carl and William. Some of the police officers from the scene also attended. Afterwards, Sheila pulled Johnny and JJ aside to let them know they were confirmed as emergency foster parents for the time being. The longer process of permanent foster parents was in the works. Ms. Burns broke the news of his placement to Brian who despite his grief smiled relieved that he would be with someone familiar. He had only had to spend one night in the children's home. Brian had brought what he'd taken to the children's home with him to the funeral in a paper bag. The Gages followed Ms. Burns to the Harrison home and retrieved Brian's clothes, some toys and bike with the promise to come back and move his bed and dresser along with the rest of his toys soon. JJ had pulled Sheila aside to inquire about other belongings like photographs and scrap books and other keepsakes. She was reassured that Sheila would make arrangements for Brian to be able to keep those treasures.

They had already cleared the typewriter and desk from the guest room in hopes Brian would be allowed to come home with them. Arriving home, Brian met Rachel and then Johnny took him back to his room. The two 'men' unpacked his clothing and then spent time setting up his Hot Wheels track and racing cars. Rachel and Nova helped JJ make cookies. Well, mostly Nova stirred her small bowl of flour until all of it was wafted into the air. When racing got boring, Johnny showed Brian how Dudley liked to fetch. Brian laughed heartily at the cat's unusual behavior and then asked if he could help care for the pet. Johnny introduced Brian to the joys of litter boxes and explained feeding, watering, exercising, and brushing Dudley. Then he asked Brian if he still wanted to care for Dudley.

"Yep, I always wanted a pet. We rented and a lot of rental places don't allow pets. Plus Mom said they are expensive," explained Brian. His face clouded with sadness and he looked away from Johnny.

"Brian, you can talk as much as you want about your mom or dad. I lost my parents at a young age. I kinda get what you're feeling buddy. And it's okay to be sad and cry sometimes. Okay?"

The young boy nodded. Then he asked, "What should I call you?"

Johnny paused. He and JJ had discussed this already. "Well, I suppose if you are okay with it, you can call us Uncle Johnny and Aunt JJ. Will that work? You have any other ideas?"

The boy looked down at his feet and swiped at his eyes. "Uncle Johnny and Aunt JJ works for me I guess." He looked so small and alone to Johnny. Johnny pulled the boy into a hug and Brian leaned into it. He ruffled Brian's hair.

"Brian, I don't know about you, but I smell cookies. I think I'd like a few with some milk. You wanna come?" He felt the boy nod. "Maybe we should wash up a bit. Unpacking can be grubby work." After washing hands and faces, they set off for the kitchen.

Brian settled into a routine and during the day he seemed to be doing pretty well considering all he had been through. Dudley soon took to sleeping on Brian's bed at night, much to the boy's delight. At night, it was common to awake to Brian crying out from a bad dream or to hear him crying softy in his room. Johnny and JJ took turns comforting the young boy. His grief would need to run its course. His arm was healing well and rarely ached.

His bed, bookcase, dresser and the rest of his books and toys were moved into his bedroom at the Gage's home. They took stock of his clothes and purchased anything he had outgrown. Two small boxes of keepsakes were packed and carefully labeled. Those were stored safely in the attic. A place in Brian's room was made for the family photo albums and a few framed pictures were placed on his wall. Johnny used his photography skills to make copies and enlarge pictures to add to their family picture wall.

JJ had inquired about enrollment in the local school and then checked to see what she and Brian could work on to help him be caught up in the classroom. Brian completed the first part of a chapter in math so he would be ready to dive in when he started. They also caught him up in English class and spelling. He was a bright boy and had no difficulties with the school work.

Brian had met the DeSotos during a cookout at the ranch during his first days with the Gages and had taken his first horseback ride. He had caught fish in the pond and been added to the official rolls of the members of the 'secret fort' Chris and Jennifer had made at the ranch. He was pleased to have cousins for the first time. Five days after the funeral, Brian attended his first day of second grade at his new school. He had his Mork and Mindy lunchbox he'd chosen packed and Sheila had retrieved his school supplies from his other school. JJ and Johnny had taken Brian to meet his new teacher after school and Brian had moved his supplies into his desk. His teacher Mr. Jackson had given him a tour of the school while the Gage's met with the school counselor to explain the situation. A few older boys had been on the playground as they had left and the family had waved at the boys playing tag. They waved back and then clustered in a group near the slide talking animatedly.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 Secret

The first weeks of school JJ picked Brian up after school even though they were only 5 blocks away. After three weeks, he had asked if he could walk home the next day. Johnny had walked with Brian to the school and back that evening to practice and they decided to allow him the freedom. He was home in record time and shared a lot about all he had seen on the way home: the friendly dog behind a chain link fence, a squirrel that had scampered up a tree trunk and some ants carrying a huge food crumb to their home. JJ and Johnny were so pleased to see this boyish behavior. The reports from school had been positive so far with only a couple of teary moments when others had talked about parent night. After his cast came off, Brian liked to ride his bike to school and a trip was made to the store to purchase a bike lock.

It was six weeks into school when Brian came home with a ripped pocket on his shirt and an abrasion on his face. He explained it happened when he'd tried to climb a tree to see a nest of baby birds. He caught his pocket on the way down and it had ripped. His cheek had scraped on the bark. JJ noted the amount of sand in his shoes and jeans pockets. He normally didn't have that much in his clothes, only just a dusting. She'd shared what happened with Johnny and they both decided it was probably nothing.

After about three months in his new school, Brian had asked to be picked up after school saying he'd found it was too hard to bring homework home that way. She'd started to remind him he could use his basket on his bike but decided not to push. He had come home two more times with a ripped back pocket on his jeans or missing buttons from his shirt and various bruises. Brian always had some excuse that seemed reasonable, but her gut told her that something else was at play. When she and Johnny discussed it later and he agreed things seemed off. However when Johnny tried to check out what was happening, Brian gave Johnny the same story he'd told JJ about the ripped pockets and missing buttons being lost during an innocent game of flag football at recess, some innocent mishap on the way home, or catching his pocket on the playground fence.

It ended up being Rachel that figured it out. She had volunteered to walk Nova in the stroller up to the school to meet Brian one Friday afternoon. Then Nova could play on the playground for a bit with her brother. JJ was feeling a bit under the weather and was glad she could stay prone on the couch. Rachel arrived at the school as the dismissal bell rang. A flood of bodies poured gleefully through the doors. Some surged onto yellow school buses, others squirted off to the sides down sidewalks to waiting cars. The remaining kids clustered up and began the walk home. Brian was one of the last to leave the school. He hugged the building and scanned the line of cars looking for his Aunt JJ's white station wagon. Just as Rachel was about to call out and wave her arm, a group of older boys slunk over to him and surrounded Brian. Jostling him from one side of the group to the other, they knocked his books out of his hands their faces twisted with derision. Rachel looked and saw no other adults had spied the altercation so she quickly pushed the stroller towards the boys. As she got closer she caught the words, 'dirty Indian lover' and she had inwardly cringed. Right as she got there, the principal walked out and the boys quickly acted like they were helping Brian pick up his papers and books. Brian kept his face down and said nothing to the principal and the boys walked away. When the principal had his back turned she saw one of the boys shake a fist at Brian as a warning. By the time she reached Brian, it had been over for a few seconds. Unsure of what to do, Rachel acted as if she hadn't seen anything. Brian had not yet realized she was watching.

"Hey big guy Aunt JJ is feeling sick so Nova and I are here to escort you home. Let's put your homework under the stroller, okay?" Rachel said as she put her arm around the young boy's shoulders. As they walked home, she asked him about his day. Brian shared about the cool science experiment they had conducted and showed her his A paper from math but never said a word about the boys and their behavior after school.

Later while Brian was out riding his bike and Nova was industriously caring for one of her baby dolls in her room, Rachel had asked to speak with JJ and explained what she had seen. JJ's face had paled and then flushed with anger. Rachel had never seen JJ this way. She had gotten up, hands clinched and had paced around the living room highly agitated. "This kind of thing makes me so mad Rachel. It infuriates me," she fumed. "I'd break something, but I'd just have to clean up the mess I made anyway. I just don't understand it at all. Why is the school allowing this?"

Rachel replied, "I think they may be unaware of it. I suspect Brian is not asking for help and trying to avoid them. Plus those boys were devious. I felt so sad for him and shocked at what they were saying."

JJ took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. Her face was still flushed with anger. "Rachel, I had no idea of the racism that you could still find until I started dating and then married John. Most people are great, but there are still a few really hateful people in this world. Their cruelty is hard to fathom. I was completely shocked at things people would boldly say or do right in front of us." JJ paused. "I'll talk to Brian to find out what has been going on. Then John and I can figure out how to help him deal with it. Thank you for letting us know what you heard." JJ knew Johnny must be a part of this, but dreaded telling him. It would just pick open the wound he had been trying to heal most of his life.

Rachel answered, "I am glad I overhead those boys. All the other things that have happened with Brian now make more sense."

After dinner, JJ asked Brian to come out on the swing on the porch. She started out saying, "Brian, I heard you had a bit of a problem after school. Rachel saw those boys and heard part of what they were saying. Sweetie, I'm not mad at you and anything they are saying Uncle Johnny or I have heard before. Occasionally you just run into people who are racist and cruel." JJ paused and Brian went from relaxed and looking at her to tense and studying his feet. "Can you tell me about it?"

Brian was really quiet and then began to wring his hands. "Mom told me not to say those things."

JJ considered what he had said. "Yes, she was correct. You shouldn't say those things about people, Brian. However, if you have to report them, it is okay to tell a trusted adult what they said. They shouldn't say them either and you shouldn't have to put up with it either."

Brian looked up with tears in his eyes. "I did tell someone at school. I told Mrs. Robb. She was the teacher on the playground. She said that those boys would never say those things. One of them is her nephew. I don't think she believed me. I didn't want to tell you or Uncle Johnny what they said. It might hurt your feelings."

JJ caressed his hair and hugged him close. "Brian you won't hurt us if you tell us what others said. I more upset because you are hurting sweetie."

Brian sniffed and used a tissue to wipe his eyes. JJ had brought a box out thinking they might be needed. In fact, she got one for herself. "They have been calling me names like traitor and Indian lover since I live with you. Those boys hate that Uncle Johnny is half Indian. They said he was worthless and would steal from people if given half a chance. They called you and Nova names I didn't understand, but I could tell they were bad by the way they said them. At first, I told them to stop and that they were wrong. Next, I told Mrs. Robb and she didn't believe me. Then, I tried to ignore them. They were just words and **I** knew they were not true. A week later they started pushing me, knocking me down and sometimes they tore my clothes. If an adult shows up, they act like they are helping me and say I had an accident. Since Mrs. Robb didn't believe me, I figured no one there would." Brian swallowed hard and his eyes brimmed with tears. His voice was so soft it was hard to hear him say, "I was afraid if the social worker heard she'd take me away from you. I like it here." Brian looked over to see how his Aunt JJ was reacting. JJ's face was heavy with sadness and she wiped away tears. Those boys had taken some of Brian's innocence because some screwed up adult had taken theirs.

"Brian, no one is going to make you leave, okay? We have the weekend to figure out how we will deal with this, together, as a family." JJ hugged him again and they sat close together on the porch swing and looked up at the stars.

After he and Nova went to bed, JJ called Johnny at work and asked to come down to talk to him. This was something she didn't want to say over the phone. Since it could be a trigger for him, JJ wanted him to have some time gather his thoughts before coming home after shift. Rachel sat in the house and wrote while JJ was gone. It was only a 10 minute drive to the station and when Johnny heard what she had to say his heart dropped. He abruptly stood up almost knocking over his desk chair. After some agitated pacing, Johnny sat down, put his head in his hands. "I knew we might have this with Nova, but Brian? The poor kid had his mom die and is living with people he barely knows and now this? What the hell is this world coming to Janes?"

"I would have waited to tell you love, but Brian was so afraid of hurting us. He was scared that if he told he'd be forced to live with another family. It was all I could do not to get angry at what he'd had to hear. In fact, I lost it when Rachel told me. I couldn't imagine how you might react or feel. That's why I didn't wait to tell you. I thought you might need some time before you saw him. We can figure it out together." JJ walked over and knelt by Johnny. "I hate, absolutely hate this stuff."

Johnny looked up with a mix of anger, hurt, and resignation in his eyes. "When I get home tomorrow morning Janes we need to sit down as a family, Rachel included, and talk about this. Somehow we will figure it out and Brian won't have to deal with it alone like I did. That much I can promise," John finished resolutely.

He kissed his wife and they walked out of his office with their arms around each other. As they walked through the kitchen, the men turned to gawk. Johnny disliked showing much affection in public, but tonight he needed the contact. Seeing this display of affection in public was surprising. Only Eric was unfazed even though he was a bit startled his captain showed this at the station. As Johnny walked her out to the car, the men hurried to the windows. Their jaws dropped as they saw their captain give a long passionate kiss to his wife. Al gave a low whistle. Eric rolled his eyes and went back to the TV show they had been watching. As their captain turned to return inside, they practically knocked each other over to return to their seats. Johnny saw the four heads sharply disappear from the window and sighed knowing he'd most likely hear some ribbing later on.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12 Not Alone Anymore

After Johnny got home the next day, the family ate Brian's favorite breakfast of waffles together. Brian and Nova went to watch Saturday morning cartoons while the three adults discussed what had been going on at school over coffee at the kitchen table.

Johnny wanted to talk to Brian alone. "It's due to me it is even an issue." That comment brought a protest from JJ and Rachel. "I don't mean it is my fault," Johnny added quickly defensively. "It's just I can best relate to what he's dealing with. I know how other boys can be from direct experience you know. Plus, I've dealt with it all my life."

Around 10:00 am Brian's favorite cartoons went off and Johnny asked him to accompany him to the ranch to tend the horses and to fish. Brian seemed to relish time alone with Johnny and readily agreed. They grabbed the cooler, packed a lunch and cold drinks and put it into the Rover. Time away would allow and for Johnny to talk to him at length. At first Johnny kept it light while they mucked stalls and rode the horses. They cleaned up and ate lunch in the shade while cloud gazing, pointing out what different clouds looked like. It wasn't until after they began to fish with baited hooks cast out and bobbers moving gently on top of the water that Johnny brought up the incident. "Brian, I heard about the mess at school. Buddy I can't tell you how sad it makes me you have to deal with this. I know it isn't fun." Brian just nodded with his eyes downcast. Johnny put his hand on the boy's shoulder. "You know when I was younger," Johnny continued, "I heard all that as well. My parents were dead and I didn't think I could go to anyone for help. Even the other Indians didn't like me since I was part white. I dealt with it alone, Brian, and that was the worst part," John said tipping the boy's face up so their eyes met. "I don't ever, ever want you to feel that loneliness I did because you aren't alone Brian. Aunt JJ and I are here to help and so is Rachel. You can always tell us about it, always. I'd be lying if I said it doesn't bother me to hear those things. It brings up horrible memories, but I can handle it. I am proud that you avoided violence. I think it is best to try that first, but now with them hurting you well I think adults need to step in to help." He pulled the boy into a hug. Brian leaned into Johnny and then wrapped his small arms around Johnny's waist.

Brian looked up with tears in his eyes. "I just want to stay with you all. I don't understand why they are so mean Uncle Johnny. You both are so nice. Why say bad things about people you don't even know?"

Johnny smiled sadly and replied, "I wish I had a good answer to that Brian. There is no good explanation. All we can do is control our own actions." About then Brian's bobber dipped under the surface and the two of them focused on catching a fish.

That next Monday, JJ called and made an appointment to visit with Mr. Jackson, the principal Mr. Smith and the school counselor Ms. Shaft. Johnny was off work Monday so they both could go in. Rachel met Brian at the school door after school and drove him home taking Nova with them. She had passed her driver's test for California, but had preferred to walk home with Brian until now. It had been decided that limiting access by the bullies to Brian after school would be the best strategy until things were settled.

After introductions, they all sat in chairs in the conference room and Johnny began the meeting by sharing what had been happening. He included Brian reporting a problem to Mrs. Robb and her reaction. "I had a childhood full of cruel comments and I see no reason why it should be tolerated." Then Johnny asked, "So what will you do to help Brian?" Johnny purposely said 'will' rather than can. He wanted them to know he expected them to deal with it.

Mr. Jackson spoke first. "I noticed Brian seemed off recently. I get it now. What a terrible thing! I wish I had figured it out. Brian is such a great kid. Do you know the names of the boys?"

JJ nodded and gave the names of two of the five boys. "Brian says he sees them together all the time. He only knew two of the names."

Mr. Smith replied, "I know those boys. I am a bit surprised they would be involved in this sort of thing. Do you think Brian is just trying to get attention? He is a foster kid you know."

The normally calm JJ was floored at the audacity at linking being a foster kid with the entire nightmare. Already on edge from the emotions of dealing with such a personal issue involving her husband and the burden of the pain the whole incident had caused Brian who had enduring enough pain and loss, she started to jump up out of her seat. Johnny had to place his hand on her leg to keep her seated. JJ burst out incredulously, "Are you kidding me? He hid it for several weeks, even after having his clothing ripped." Her voice had gotten a quite strident; her anger was obvious. Pressure from Johnny's hand on her knee helped JJ gain control. She was silent for a beat, her eyes sharply boring into the principal's shocked face. JJ took a breath and let it out. "I'm sorry for raising my voice," she voiced embarrassed at her outburst, but still mad enough to clam up for the time being.

Johnny was surprised he was keeping his cool. "Actually Mr. Smith, I don't think that view point holds any water. Brian didn't tell us, our nanny Rachel overhead the other boys last Friday. She walked Brian home and he never said anything to her. My wife had to bring it up and confront him about it before he'd admit what was happening. His biggest worries were being moved to another home by his social worker and hurting our feelings by telling us what the kids had said. Since the Mrs. Robb didn't believe him, he didn't think anyone else at school would either. Call me crazy, but if he wanted attention I think he would have been telling everyone in sight, don't you?"

Mr. Smith's face flushed a bit as he replied, "Yes, I see your point. I suppose all kids make childish and foolish choices and no kid is exempt from those types of mistakes. Things may have been different when you were a boy Mr. Gage, but in 1982, we do not tolerate this sort of thing. We will need to talk directly to Brian tomorrow and then I'll deal with the boys involved. I am very sorry Brian and you all had to deal with this."

Ms. Shaft added, "I can do some diversity training in classes. I'll contact the teachers and set up times to get into every classroom. Mr. LaFrance, our 5th grade teacher, is great with talking about black history and I have two families that have shared the Mexican culture in the past. Mr. Gage, would you be interested in sharing about Indian culture?"

Johnny's eyebrows shot up in surprise, "Uh, well yes of course. I don't mean to sound reluctant because I'm not. It's just you kinda took me by surprise with your request. I'd like that. I also know of a couple of people from the reservation who'd do a great job as well." He rubbed his hands together as he asked questions about what all they might want him to arrange.

Mr. Jackson volunteered to plan to be outside each day near Brian until he was picked up. "I'll do my best to make it look like I'm just hanging out so Brian doesn't feel strangely about it." The teacher also had positive relationships with the other boys and would coordinate with Ms. Shaft to help foster a more positive attitude between the boys.

By the time the meeting ended, Johnny was feeling hopeful that things could be resolved eventually. Mr. Smith promised to be in contact after he had dealt with the current situation. The couple walked home to share with Brian the plan. Knowing Johnny was able to deal with this whole hot button issue so successfully was a blessing to JJ. Even with her chagrin at losing her own temper at the meeting, she was glad to hear about the plans to support Brian. Even so, JJ was still quite upset about the initial comments by the principal and deep down she still didn't quite trust Mr. Smith. It probably was not fair of her, but she wasn't as forgiving as Johnny seemed to be about it all.

Brian felt more relaxed than ever after talking to his foster parents. It had been over three months since he moved in with them. He felt guilty that he could barely remember his father without looking at a photograph. His missed his mother still, but was starting to struggle to remember her voice. Brian was glad for the photo albums. He spread them out on his bed and looked at them again.

The situation at Brian's school improved. All but one boy had stopped bothering him. The single boy that still bothered him was limited to the occasional verbal jab. Two of the boys now regularly came to the house to play and had spent an afternoon at the ranch with the family. The boys had especially enjoyed swimming in the pond. Johnny had boosted each boy onto his shoulders and then heaved them up into the air and into the pond with large splashes.

Johnny stood outside of the building with Roy on a break from a captain's meeting several weeks later. They were discussing the whole school hassle.

"So the teasing has stopped now?" Roy asked.

"Yeah, as much as can be expected and Brian isn't being physically attacked anymore," Johnny replied. "Even more importantly, he doesn't feel like has to deal with it alone. That was the worst part for me." Johnny ran his hands through his hair.

The action didn't escape Roy's notice. He knew it was a sign of agitation. Roy had seen it probably hundreds of times. "That's good he knows you are there for him. Must have been tough for you not really having support after your parents were killed," he ventured. Roy had pieced together part of Johnny's past life over the years, but it was mostly an educated guess.

"The worst, it was the worst. Neither group accepted me Roy. On top of that I was just a little kid missing his parents. All I wanted is to fit in somewhere and I was the odd man out everywhere. I don't want that for Brian or Nova," Johnny admitted with a hint of raw hurt still evident in his voice. Roy inwardly winced as he heard confirmation of the painful childhood his best friend had endured. "It's odd Roy, but helping Brian with this has helped me deal with my own past." Roy nodded thoughtfully.

"I guess it helps that now people can see how wrong it is to treat others that way. It still shocks me that people so openly mocked you. I get saying things out of ignorance, since I imagine I have done so as well. However, I can't wrap my mind around being intentionally cruel," he finished his blue eyes full of sadness. He reached over and patted his friend on the back. "Junior, shall we grab a cup of coffee before the meeting reconvenes?" asked Roy using his old nickname for his former partner.

Johnny made a sardonic face at the junior comment before replying, "Sure pally, you pouring?"

JJ had led her new rape survivor group for the third time. Several women had felt comfortable enough to share this time that had never spoken before. She especially felt for the woman who had left an apparently abusive husband after being raped by a stranger. The stress of the attack weakened an already rocky marriage. The poor woman was dealing with the horror of the rape and the grief of her ending marriage. I am going to give John a big hug and tell him how wonderful he is tonight she thought thankful to have a loving husband. She locked up and walked to her car shortly after the last member had left. She was always careful to park under a light in the parking lot since the group finished at dusk. She didn't notice the dark shadow of a person lurking near a clump of trees.

He'd watched her go to her car in the lot knowing she was his best chance. Soon I'll put my plan into action. I'll win Cheryl back. I just need to know where she is he thought. The man slipped back into the dark and walked back to his own car parked on a nearby street.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13 For the Birds

Johnny was to work the current shift with only a day off after and then be back on to work again. This part of the schedule was always grueling and now he dreaded it since he was away from his growing family. However, those times that he got three days off in a row made up for it he reasoned. He had come into work an hour early to catch up on some left over paperwork. Checking his wristwatch, he realized his own crew would be arriving soon. The engine had been called out near the end of the last shift. Knowing they had missed breakfast, he went into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. He planned to get the men to work together to make eggs, sausage and toast to greet C shift when they returned. Eddie and Ted came early enough they helped. The hot meal was most appreciated by the exhausted C shift.

After roll call, A shift men were dismissed to attend to their assigned duties. Johnny had gone off to his office. Poor Richard had ended up with latrine duty. He had run late, which was a rarity for him. He'd accepted it with a shrug and ignored Al's grin. Al was usually the recipient of the duty and was relieved to have dodged that bullet. Not long after they started their duties, the klaxon sounded. The station was called to vehicle accident involving a semi and a couple of cars. Arriving on scene, they were greeted with mass chaos. The semi had been carrying a load chickens in crates. Feathers hung in the air and a cacophony of squawking fill the air. It was hard to get out of the engine or squad without stepping on a bird. Smoke roiled from under the trailer where one of the cars had been trapped. The other car had skidded after locking its brakes to miss the wreck. The driver had lost control and it had hit a metal pole holding a streetlight. The truck driver was waving his arms chasing his payload. Grabbing one bird at a time, he shoved his prizes into one of the remaining crates that were intact. Those crates were fast filling up.

Johnny ordered Eddie and Ted to ge inch on the smoldering car to wash down any fuel and to prevent an impending fire. Richard and Al waded through the sea of poultry to check on victims. The truck driver had no injuries and refused treatment. Al took the car that had hit the pole and when to check that victim. Johnny went with Richard to check on the car pinned under the semi-trailer. Police had secured the site. One officer was directing traffic around the accident scene. The other came to confer with Johnny.

"Captain," Officer Kent said, "Do you need my help?" he asked as he spit out a feather that had floated into his mouth.

"Best thing you can do is something about the truck driver and these stupid chickens," Johnny replied as he too spit out a couple of feathers. "Jeeze, what a mess!" Johnny turned back to Richard.

"Cap, the doors are jammed. I see two victims. We are going to need the porta-power and jaws," Richard explained. Johnny nodded and ran to get the equipment. Al had jogged over to Richard.

"The other driver has a cut on their forehead from broken glass and has a possible broken arm. Cap said he'd call it in to Rampart and let us know if we are needed. Said you most likely need the help. Whatcha got?" Al asked. Richard filled him in.

"Can't tell much Al, driver has a pulse. I am unable to tell with the passenger. Their color is poor so they don't have much time. They may already be code F," Richard replied.

By then Eric arrived with the equipment and assisted. Johnny had contacted Rampart, applied a splint and dressed the cut of the first victim. The victim's eyes didn't indicate any head injury so he was made comfortable until the ambulance arrived. Johnny checked to see if Al, Eric, and Richard still needed help, but the three men had all the manpower they required. With a small sigh, Johnny turned away knowing that meant he got to help with the chicken round up.

The two people in the pinned car were extracted. The passenger was indeed code F. However the driver was still alive with serious internal injuries, a broken heel, ankle and femur. His injured leg had several fracture blisters from the impact of the crash. As soon as the I.V. was started and splints applied, the ambulance rolled into view and the patients were loaded and transported. Al followed in the squad.

Ted and Eddie had squelched the fire in the car and now were pressed into service to help catch chickens. The semi had been transporting 100 crates of chickens with five chickens per wooden crate. After the crash, 40 crates had been damaged and those chickens were currently loose minus the 25 the driver and officer had caught. Another twenty-five chickens had been killed in the wreck. That left 150 fowl on the lam to be corralled and penned. That meant stuffing six to eight chickens into each crate left intact. Putting eight chickens into a crate designed for five was quite the challenge. Poking in one or two extra chickens seemed fairly doable. However, getting the eighth one into the crate was nigh impossible. Almost without fail, while putting in the seventh or eighth bird resulted in spurt out of at least one or two chickens. Between the smell of chicken poop, the sight feathers fluttering in the air and the sounds of squawking birds and swearing men, the scene was more suited to some Marx Brothers movie than a first responder call. It was with great relief when animal control showed up with more animal crates and fresh chicken wranglers. The crew of the 110 was glad to finish their portion of the clean-up and leave. For the rest of the shift, it seems the men of station 110 were finding chicken feathers in the darnest places: various places in the fire engine, squad and on their own person. Eric was not at all surprised that night when the men turned in for the night to find the stuffed cougar on his bunk with feathers glued all over it. After lights out, Johnny felt something soft hit his face and tumble to the floor. He spit out a feather that had become dislodged and had somehow made its way into his mouth. He held his peace with a private smile. When Eric went home tomorrow and turned on his vehicle's air conditioner, Johnny knew he'd be greeted by a snowstorm of chicken feathers.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14 Tribulation

Rachel finished the final touches on her first piece of work since moving to California. It was a short story taken from her larger work. After scrapping parts of her novel and then trying to tackle rewriting it, she had decided to take one of the best parts and develop it into a short story. She had letters already drafted and after typing them she'd begin sending out her story to publications. She was quite excited about it all. JJ had really praised her work. After some trepidation, she'd allowed Johnny and then Eric to read it as well. Both were quite impressed. To celebrate, Rachel decided to take some of her hoarded cash out of her account and go on a mini shopping spree. Humming to herself, she dressed in her favorite dress and heels. She stopped in the house to borrow the keys to the station wagon from JJ and left to enjoy an afternoon of browsing.

JJ spent her Saturday with the kids. It had not been a pleasant day so far. Nova had gotten into Brian's room and partially dismantled his Lego creation he had worked all week to create. "Aunt JJ! Nova ruined it!" he'd yelled from his doorway. Almost two, Nova had already begun to live up to the 'terrible twos'. Her new favorite retort was 'no', even if you asked her if she'd like a cookie. Things had gotten quiet for 10 minutes and it made JJ nervous. Making a quick check, she found Nova had used her child-sized rocking chair to reach the top of her parent's dresser. Hooking the rockers under the dresser to steady it, she'd then climbed up and gotten into JJ's make-up for the third time in two weeks. Nova had already been scolded and punished for this, but she persisted. I guess she inherited her father's tenacity JJ thought wearily. Now if she could just channel all that energy into a more positive way. Lipstick was smeared all over the top of the dresser and mirror, liberally sprinkled with face powered and blue eye shadow.

"Nova! What in heaven's name are you doing?" JJ had admonished her daughter. The enormity of the mess was overwhelming.

"I doing nuffing," she'd said looking up with peach lipstick smeared across her face and smudges on her clothes. Interspersed with lipstick were patches of blue eye shadow and face powder.

"Oh, you've been doing _plenty_ young lady! And now you're lying too! It is bad to lie Nova and it is wrong to get into my make-up," JJ had replied exasperated as she gingerly carried her daughter towards the bathroom. Stripping off the smeared clothes, soon Nova was only clad in her thick training pants. After quickly reviewing Nova's transgressions, JJ gave her child three swats to her bottom. Although Nova could be stubborn, she hated anyone being upset with her. Her lip quivered and tears sprung into her eyes.

"Momma," she wailed plaintively and her little face crumpled.

JJ hugged her close saying, "I love you Nova. I'll always love you no matter what, but sweetie you need to remember to follow the rules. They are for your safety. Lying is wrong Nova."

"'kay Momma, I sorry," Nova answered through her sobs. Then for a few precious hours there was a delicious tranquility.

Later that day, Brian who was still mad about his Legos was teasing his sister. He rarely watched TV after the morning on Saturdays. He was more into riding his bike. However today, he knew Sesame Street would be on the public access channel. Nova loved it and normally he could care less about what she watched. Today, well he had a plan. He went into the living room and switched on the TV until he found a baseball game. Actually, Brian liked baseball, a lot. However, he liked to play baseball, or talk about baseball or attend a live game. Watching it on TV was about as exciting as watching paint dry. He sat down and pretended to be enthralled. In about 15 minutes, Nova woke up from her nap and came out with bedhead and her pink blanket ready to pile into Johnny's recliner and watch Sesame Street.

"Hi Bri'n," she murmmered. "Big Bird time, 'kay?"

Brian looked up. "I'm watching the game so you will have to miss it, squirt." He felt a little guilty when he saw the disappointment on her face. Then he recalled the destruction she caused to his Lego creation and hardened his resolve. "Tough luck."

"I want Big Bird, Bri'n," Nova insisted. From there the volume and intensity grew and shortly JJ heard the commotion from the laundry room near the very back of the house. Coming to the front of the house, she found two very irate kids arguing.

"Enough! I have had enough you two!" JJ sternly said. Taking in the situation she then asked, "Brian, since when do you watch sports on TV? You hate that." Brian shifted his weight from foot to foot. "So? What is up?"

"I was watching the game first," he insisted. "The rule is she has to wait until I'm done, right?" Brian tried to sound righteous, but his shame shone through.

It only took a few well worded questions from JJ to get to the bottom of the matter. Brian was sent to his room for the time being and bike privileges were suspended for the day.

In about 30 minutes, JJ headed to Brian's bedroom. "Brian, we need to talk," she began. He nodded. "I know Nova messing up your Legos was a big deal. Remember after she had to apologize I took her favorite doll away for the day?"

Brian answered quietly, "Yes, I know."

"Nova knows when your door is shut your room is off limits. Nova was punished for what she did. She even apologized to you. Honey, why did you pull that stunt with the TV?" JJ asked.

"Nova is a pest. It's gonna take forever to fix the damage. I was still mad," he answered crossly.

"Brian, do you remember your last Sunday school lesson? The one about forgiveness?" she prompted.

"Yeah," he answered.

"After someone wrongs you Brian, you need to forgive them. It frees you from bitterness and it frees the other person from shame," she explained. "God tells us to forgive."

Brian hung his head. "I know, but it's hard."

JJ pulled him into a hug. "Yes, baby it sure is, but you work at it, okay?" He nodded solemnly. It was quite a while later before he wandered out to the main room.

"Nova? I'm sorry about the TV," he said shuffling his feet. "You forgive me?"

Nova looked up. In an almost two-year old universe, that had happened ions ago. She smiled saying, "Uh huh and patted his face.

It was with a huge sigh of relief when JJ finally flopped down on the couch and flipped off her tennis shoes after baths and bedtime routines. She'd battled the vegetable wars and the toothpaste skirmish and mediated the bedtime story battle. Rachel breezed in with a new scarf, checked in with JJ and then retired to her room over the garage. A short time later, Johnny called from the station as he did most nights he worked a shift. Tonight was a bit later than normal which probably meant he'd just gotten in from an evening run.

"Hello?" she said into the receiver as she answered the phone.

"Hey Janes," rasped Johnny his voice sandpapered from smoke.

"Eat some smoke tonight?" she asked a bit concerned.

"More than I would have liked, but nothing to worry about," he'd answered. "Both Eddie and I have that sultry bedroom voice tonight," Johnny joked. He'd then added details about the hardware store fire they'd been called to extinguish two hours ago. "I am just waiting my turn for the shower and then I'm gonna crash. At least, that's the plan now. It has been a crazy shift Janes. We responded to a car wreck to find a boyfriend and a girlfriend in an all-out fist fight over whose fault it was. There were more injuries from the fight that the wreck. Then we rescued a pet pig that was stuck in a doggie door. Sheesh are pigs loud. Twice we put out a fire at the same house. Both times the fire was in the kitchen. The wife started a fire trying to cook a turkey. The husband started a grease fire frying fish. The kitchen is a total loss. I think that couple needs to just eat out. Then there was the kid that got stuck in a tree and when Al rescued him the kid bit him three times on the arm. Al can really move fast down a ladder, you know," he had finished with a chuckle."

"Yikes! Sounds much worse than my day, John. Our kids fussed and argued most of the day. Maybe someone put something in the water supply," she'd joked.

"Wouldn't surprise me Angel," he'd replied, "Not after today. I'll see you tomorrow. Night, I love you."

"Goodnight love," she'd answered. "I love you too."

"Goodnight sweetheart, see you tomorrow," he'd answered before hanging up.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15 Turn Towards Trouble

The foster home paperwork had wound its way through the system and the Gages were officially permanent foster parents of Brian Harrison almost four months after taking him in. The couple had already begun to discuss looking into adopting the boy with each other privately. However, they had not inquired about it officially as of yet. For now they were concentrating on planning Brian's eighth birthday party coming up in late April.

Johnny and Roy stood in Roy's driveway as they put the last box of supplies into the Rover. They were packed and ready to leave on a two day fishing trip. Since it was during the school week, Chris and Brian were not coming along. It had been ages since the men had gone somewhere as a team. Johnny had already bid his wife and kids goodbye only 30 minutes ago. After having hugged Joanne and bid Jenny and Chris goodbye with a kiss and hair ruffle respectively, Johnny walked to the Rover and got into the driver's side. Roy hugged both of his kids kissing them each in turn. The children both ran back into the house to finish getting ready for school. Johnny couldn't help peering into the side mirror and saw Roy gently touch the side of his wife's face before planting a pretty impressive goodbye kiss on her mouth. He turned away to give them their moment and grinned. Johnny had always thought it sweet when Roy and Joanne were affectionate. However now that he too was married, seeing such displays had added meaning. Roy opened the passenger door and got into the car. Johnny was still grinning. "What Johnny?" Roy inquired. Johnny just changed his expression to a smirk. He then peered closer at Roy with concern, deliberately took one thumb and proceeded to wipe off the smeared pink lipstick from one side his friend's mouth. He held up his lipstick covered thumb for his best friend to inspect.

"Pink just doesn't do you justice Roy," Johnny teased with a crooked smile, "Your coloring would look better with red." Roy colored and quickly flipped down the visor to use the mirror on it to check his face. He vigorously rubbed off the remaining smear.

Roy frowned as he finished removing the smear and then shot back, "Junior, just how do you know so much about lipstick color? You have a new hobby I don't know about?" he teased.

Johnny suddenly stopped smiling and looked sharply at Roy as Johnny let out a huff of irritation. Then his eyes crinkled and he laughed, "Good one pally."

Their trip was a relaxing mix of fishing, hiking, good weather and laughter. Roy shared about having Chet at his station and being his captain. "It was kinda weird Johnny, supervising a colleague from the past when he came to fill in for Brad. Now he's permanently at my station taking Shane's position. Chet's a good firefighter. You probably heard Shane transferred to a different station after his suspension. Said he wanted to 'start over'. I guess it is going okay or so I hear. Roy finished.

Johnny grew quiet. "Yeah, he called and apologized to JJ again. He offered to come over in person, but she declined. He even apologized to me." He was quiet for a bit and then Johnny snorted. Smiling he asked, "Is Chet still an awful cook? Remember the cherries in the stew and the 'health food'?"

Roy kept his face bland. "I plead the 5th." Johnny just kept a steady gaze at his friend. Roy began to squirm and then cracked a smile. "Okay, NO! His newest thing is gelatin salads. He made one two shifts ago with grated carrots and diced Spam." Johnny was in mid sip, sputtered in surprise, spit coffee into the fire and roared.

"Spam in Jello? What in the world?" he laughed between coughs.

"Yeah, I guess some gourmet chefs make aspic which is a type of gelatin and put it around cold meat. It was his 'take' on it. He served it with steamed broccoli and rolls. At least you could pick out those cherries in the stew. The broccoli and rolls were edible. He was about as popular as the flu that shift," Roy finished his blue eyes twinkling. A moment of silence passed as they sipped coffee. When they looked up their eyes met and both men laughed until tears rolled down their faces.

The friends shared antidotes about their kids, good natured ribbing, and guy talk over the two days. They fished and hiked. Johnny took some photographs. Both men found they easily slipped back into the camaraderie they had shared as partners.

The night before Johnny and Roy were to head home, JJ bid Rachel and Eric goodbye as she went to lead her support group at the community building at a nearby park. Eric had come over to help Brian practice his batting. Brian was hoping to join a summer baseball team and needed some practice. Now the three of them and Nova were eating popcorn and watching "Batman". Later they would enjoy "The Flintstones" and "Huckleberry Hound" before the two children would need to take their baths and head to bed.

The support group had gone well. JJ had noticed that Cheryl was not in attendance. She had called into the center and reported she was ill. Cheryl had really struggled since her assault. Her marriage was in trouble now as well. It happened sometimes after rape. Cheryl had been sexually assaulted by a stranger. The stress of it all could break a marriage and that is what had apparently happened to Cheryl and her husband Brett. From what Cheryl had shared with JJ privately, her husband had been pretty controlling and it sounded as if he may have also been physically abusive at times. JJ had encouraged her to seek out professional help for that part of her life. The support group simply wasn't equipped to help with that sort of issue.

JJ had put up the folding chairs they had gotten out, rinsed out the large coffee pot, wiped off the counters and then shut off the lights as she headed for the door. She locked it and after looking out to the parking lot, she pushed the door open and then waited to hear the click it made as the lock latched. The station wagon was parked underneath one of the lot lights. A scan of the area showed it to be empty and with her keys sticking out between her fingers she walked briskly to her car. She could see under her car and it was clear. Just as she reached her car, she felt a hand touch her shoulder. JJ whipped around stepping back to see a brown-haired man with a friendly looking face. His hands were open and held out in front of his in a gesture of apology. "Jeeze, I didn't mean to scare you ma'am," he said.

"Can I help you?" JJ answered as she kept a distance between them. She was shocked she hadn't seen this man. JJ thought she'd been cautious and aware. Apparently she needed to be more careful she thought to herself.

"Yeah, I think so. I am looking for someone. Her name is Cheryl, Cheryl Hamm. Do you know her?" Whistles went off in her head. She said nothing as her mind raced and panic set in. "She's my wife. I know she comes to this group. I just want to talk to her, that's all. I've kinda blown it. I want to apologize and maybe talk about counseling. I just don't know where she is now. I just want a phone number or something." He looked so sincere and sad.

JJ's groups were made up of people who were referred from a central office to support groups that were close to where they lived. She only had a roster of names, but no phone numbers or addresses. All communication went through that central office. If JJ was ill and couldn't find a replacement leader for a group, she was to call the main office and they let the members know the meeting was cancelled. If a member couldn't come, they left a message at the central office and they let JJ know. JJ could only presume this was Cheryl's husband Bret and a chill swept over her. "Sir, I don't have any of that information. They only give me a list of names, that's all. Sorry." She kept her voice calm even though her concern had every nerve ending vibrating. She was sure her heart would leap out of her chest. JJ tried to concentrate on all she'd learned over the past years in support group meetings. She was only able to think of bits and pieces.

JJ had fingered through her keys without looking until she found the one for the door and quickly turned to put it into the lock. She was completely shocked when he lunged at her and slammed her into the station wagon. Her head banged into the window and pushed her teeth into her cheek cutting the skin inside of her mouth. She was surprised to see a spider web of cracks on the glass as she pulled her head back and a smear of blood. Her hand went up to her cheek and she felt a lump forming just under her eye. He grabbed her by the shirt and shook her before pulling her close to his face. Bloody saliva dripped from her lips to her top. "Look bitch, I don't have time for your games. I just need the information so stop jerking me around, he spit out in sharp speech. She blinked at each word as if they cut. JJ was stunned and it took a couple seconds to process what had just happened. Her hands came up and she used the heels of her hands to hit him squarely on his ears. Her attacker grunted in pain and let go of her shirt. As he doubled over she brought her fist up into his throat. At the sound of his wheeze, JJ turned to run. Stunned and woozy from being slammed into the car, her punch wasn't as forceful as she intended. In her fuzzy state, she thought she had hit him hard. It was with shock she realized the man was in pursuit. JJ's head snapped back as he grabbed her hair and she felt his hand clamp over her mouth and nose muffling her scream. A sweet, sickly smell was the last thing she knew before all went black.

The kids had been bathed and Nova had already succumbed to sleep. Brian had requested a bedtime story from Eric. Rachel was in the kitchen cleaning up. She had just finished the popcorn bowl. She looked up at the clock and realized JJ should have been back by now. Of course she was only maybe 20 minutes later than expected. She could have stayed after to talk to one of the ladies or just hit the traffic lights wrong. Soon after, Eric came out of Brian's bedroom with a smile. "The little dickens kept asking for one more story," he said smiling. "I cut him off at two."

Rachel laughed, "Yeah, I guess he does that with JJ and Johnny as well. Truthfully, he pulls it with me as well," she admitted with a grin. "Johnny is especially a soft touch, but you didn't hear that from me," she admonished. Eric just laughed. "Like I haven't figured that out yet, and _you_ didn't hear me say that either," he added with a smirk. "You need help with any of that?"

"Nope, you timed it well since I am pretty much done," she quipped drying the bowl as Eric frowned at her. Before he could tease her back, she looked at the clock again and said aloud, "It's 30 minutes after JJ is usually back from group. I am a bit worried. She usually likes to get back in time to at least kiss the kids goodnight."

Eric looked concerned. "Really? It's most likely nothing. Maybe the car is acting up. How about I drive over and check? I did promise Cap I'd be here if you all needed anything." He pulled his keys from his front pocket. "I'll be back in a few. Don't worry Rachel, I'm sure it's fine, okay?" She nodded trying to smile, but her stomach clinched in concern.

Eric trotted out the back door to the curb to his 1980 dark blue Grand Prix. He started it up and drove to the community building at the park. As he drove into the lot, he spotted the white station wagon with a jolt of fear. JJ was nowhere in sight and the building was dark. Eric jumped out of his car without even closing his door. At the sight of the webbing of cracks on the driver's side window and the smudge of blood on the window he felt a surge of panic. JJ wasn't okay and something was most definitely wrong. He sprinted towards the only pay phone he knew of in the area. It was on the other side of the smallish park.


	16. Chapter 16

_ Added foreword: I have had several people write concerned about my story having a character who was raped in the past and now they believe she is being raped again. That is not the case at all. Just to put people's mind at ease, she will not be a victim of rape again. In fact, if you read the story so far, the abductor was not a rapist but the husband of a women who was raped. He is controlling and physically violent, but not a rapist. It was never the intent to have a second rape. I hope this clears these concerns up._

Chapter 16

Johnny and Roy were still sitting around their campfire drawing out those last few moments of their camping trip before turning in, when headlights pierced their campsite. When the driver opened the door, the interior dome light illuminated the insignia on the door. The vehicle was from the park service. A park ranger got out and started towards the men. Roy stood up saying, "Hello! We still have some coffee, would you like some?" As the ranger got closer, it was apparent to both of the men that something was amiss. Johnny stood up nervously brushing off his jeans.

"Is there a problem?" Johnny inquired.

The park ranger pulled off his hat and shifted it in his hands. As he grew closer to the fire light his name badge showed him to be Rex Peterson. "Good evening, gentlemen," Officer Peterson began. "I am looking for John Gage or Roy DeSoto." His countenance remained grim.

Both men felt their heart stutter. "I'm John Gage and this is Roy. Can I help you?"

"I got a call from the LA police department Mr. Gage. Apparently almost two hours ago your wife didn't come home when she was expected. A family friend discovered her car still parked at the community building."

Johnny stared for a minute in shock, his mouth opening and then closing as if he was unsure of what to say. Then he asked, "Is, is she hurt? Is Janey okay?"

"I don't have lots of details, but from what I was told they simply can't find her. There is some evidence at the scene that she may have been attacked. They asked me to find you and have you drive back to the city. I am sorry to have to bring this news." The ranger's body sagged a bit as if he had just set down a heavy load.

Johnny ran his hand through his hair and turned to walk towards his Rover and then back to the tent. He started to pull out a tent stake and then turned to begin kicking dirt on the fire. Johnny stopped mid-kick, turned his back to the other two men and stared off into the dark. Roy spoke.

"Thank you for coming by and telling us," Roy told the ranger. He shook the hand of Peterson and then turned to Johnny. "Junior, why don't you pull the Rover over closer to the campsite? We can use the headlights to pack by. Johnny slowly nodded and pulled the keys from his pocket. Roy poured out the remaining dregs of coffee over the fire and set the pot aside to cool. He then started to empty the tent. By the time Johnny had pulled the Rover up, Roy had rolled up one sleeping bag and was finishing the second one. Johnny stepped out of the vehicle. He stood in place and turned slowly around obviously at a loss at what to do next. It was unlike the man who in emergencies always sprang to action often without a pause. Roy said, "John, why don't you double check the fire? Then you can stow the food box and dishes. By then I'll have the tent down and we can both fold it up, ok?" Johnny ran his hand through his hair several times and it stood up crazily. He nodded mechanically and then methodically used the side of his foot to push dirt over the fire until it was out.

"Yeah, good plan Roy," he replied tonelessly as he worked.

In a matter of 20 minutes they had broken camp and had finished packing up everything but the fishing equipment. After placing the tackle box in the last open spot, Roy carefully laid the poles crosswise on top of the rest of the contents. He noted Johnny had begun to shake. After closing the back, he walked over to his best friend placing an arm around his shoulders. "Johnny, it is going to be okay, but I think maybe I should drive." Roy waited for Johnny to hand him the keys. Johnny looked up, his face full of anguish, eyes brimming and rubbed his hand over his mouth.

"Where could she be? Janey has to be okay, Roy. I just can't live…," Johnny's voice faltered and his head bowed.

Roy felt sick. He knew if the news had been about Joanne, he would feel the same. He would be a wreck. "Johnny, the keys okay? Come on Junior, let's go home. I know Brian and Nova are needing you," he coaxed. "We gotta believe the best John and stay positive. I'll bet there's a good explanation, a simple one." Roy punctuated his last comment with a pat on Johnny's back.

Johnny pulled out the keys and handed them over. "I hope so. I'll try," he replied not returning the smile. Johnny wiped his eyes and tried to push down the panic filling his mind. The trip home was completely silent.

They pulled into the Gage's house a couple hours later around midnight. Eric's Grand Prix was parked out front along with a black and white unit. Brian burst out of the back door and ran into Johnny's arms. Rachel and Eric followed after. "Nova's asleep Cap," Eric said quietly. "Brian needed to see you so we let him stay up."

Johnny scooped up the boy and hugged him tightly. "Hey big fella, did you grow while I was gone?" he teased.

"They can't find her. I was afraid they couldn't find you Dad," the little boy lamented. Johnny's throat tightened both at the name Dad and the boy's anguish.

"Brian, I'm fine. She is fine. We just have some sort of mix-up, buddy," he replied comfortingly. "Let's get you into bed, son." Johnny liked the feel of the word son in his mouth. "You have brushed your teeth already?" Brian nodded. "Okay come on pally. I'll tuck you in." Johnny gave a grim smile to Rachel and Eric as a greeting as he passed by them. His attention was now focused on Brian. About 20 minutes later, he slowly walked out to the living room and sighed. "I think he's asleep now. Dudley is curled up by his face. I peeked in at Nova and she is still asleep." It was only then he noted the police officer on the couch. "John Gage," he said as an introduction as he held out his hand.

"Steve White, LAPD," the office answered as he shook Johnny's hand. "I am sorry to have to do this, but I need to ask you some questions." Johnny nodded. Eric introduced Roy. They four of them sat down. Rachel quietly left to bring in a fresh carafe of coffee and two more cups. "Mr. Gage, do you have any idea where your wife might be?"

"No, not without the car, well, maybe at the ranch? I don't know how she'd get there though. Did you check the hospitals?" Johnny asked.

"We've checked the hospitals, the ranch and," the officer paused, "the morgue." Johnny paled at the last comment. "So far we are unable to locate Mrs. Gage. We have the car. The window was cracked in a web pattern and there was a small smudge of blood on it. It appears the damage was done from outside of the vehicle." Johnny's heart pounded and his stomach twisted. That type of damage usually happened from an impact of a person's head to the glass. "Are there any friends who she might be with?" Rachel came in quietly with the coffee and cups. Eric got up to help her. He passed out the cups to Roy and Johnny while Rachel poured coffee and freshened the others' cups.

"Her best friend lives in New York, Elaine Matthews. Otherwise, she sees Joanne, Roy's wife sometimes and a few women at the church. I can give you their names and Elaine's phone number. Janey has no living relatives."

The officer nodded. "I've talked to Ms. Matthews and Joanne DeSoto. They didn't have any idea where your wife might be. I would like the names of the ladies from church." The officer pulled out his note pad and wrote down the names as Johnny gave them. "Your wife was leading a rape survivor group tonight. Is there anyone there she might have gone somewhere with?"

Johnny shook his head slowly as he answered, "No, I don't think so. She just started that a few months back. The organization keeps personal information pretty private and encourages the members to keep it private. She's never gone anywhere with any of those women before. She has stayed a bit after a meeting to talk, but at the meeting site. Besides even if she did go with one of them Janey is the type to call."

The officer made a few notes and nodded thoughtfully. "We've contacted the organization. How did Mrs. Gage get involved with the support group?"

Johnny ran his hand through his hair. "She was raped almost five years ago in New York. It was before we met. The guy who assaulted her was killed in a car accident just before we met. She attended groups since then off and on. Recently, she decided to volunteer as a group leader. Kinda to give back, I guess."

"I see," the office commented. "Any other ideas of someone who might want to harm your wife?"

Johnny shook his head slowly. "No, no I can't think of anyone. Well, wait, maybe. There was that one fire fighter. Roy what was Shane's last name?"

Roy answered, "Fowler, Shane Fowler." Roy turned to explain, "Shane was a new hire at my station. JJ was shadowing us for research for her newest novel. He made some inappropriate sexual advances and comments to her while she with us on that shift. He was suspended without pay and written up. He has since asked for a transfer to another station, had additional training and is doing fine as far as I have heard." Roy became upset thinking that Shane might have been involved.

"He did call us and apologize again. Even offered to do so in person, but Janey said it wasn't necessary. Shane was a jerk, but I guess I don't see him hurting Janey," Johnny remarked.

The officer wrote a couple more things on his notepad. "We can still check it out even if it is to eliminate that possibility. We are also looking into all the women in the support group.

"Look, I have to ask. Is there anyway your wife could have been involved with another man?" The officer hated this part of the interview, but often this was the case when someone went missing.

Johnny's head snapped up, a look of astonishment on his face. Before he could answer Rachel, Roy and Eric answered together, "No, not a chance."

Johnny added, "No, there is not." He tried to conceal the anger he felt at the officer asking even though he knew it was standard procedure.

"Please call if you think of anything else or if you hear anything."

"Yes, of course, absolutely. So what now? What are you doing to find Janey?" Johnny pressed.

"We are checking the area for possible witnesses, checking out the group members and their families and we will talk to Shane. Don't worry Mr. Gage, we will find your wife." The officer stood and shook hands with Johnny. "I'll see myself out."

"John, can I use your phone to let Joanne know where I am. I'll keep it short," Roy asked.

"Yeah, sure, yeah. You can use the one in the bedroom if you want," he answered absently without looking.

Roy hurried off to call Joanne. He also called the chief to fill him in and ask for a replacement for Johnny for the upcoming shift. Roy then called another captain at his station and tentatively switched his A shift-starting the day after tomorrow—with the B shift captain. Roy wanted to stay with Johnny. Eric would be off during B shift. He figured for now Johnny shouldn't have to be alone. He didn't even want to think past a couple of days. Surely it would be cleared up by then.

Eric would have liked to stay. He hated to see his captain like this and wanted to help. Plus Rachel was upset and she probably needed someone. However, as soon as Johnny got home and the kids were in bed Rachel had sagged with fatigue. She'd decided to try to get some rest. Truth be told even though she was tired, she just need some time alone. Alone, she would feel better able to let out her feelings. Maybe a good cry would help her rid herself of the beastly headache. She had held it all in to be strong for the kids. Rachel did a good job of selling the need for rest to Eric. If he'd had any idea of how truly upset she was, Rachel figured he would have insisted on staying longer. With a quick hug, Eric headed for home and Rachel went up to her apartment to 'sleep'.

Johnny insisted Roy take the bed. Sleeping in it alone had no appeal for him. He grabbed Janey's pillow and a spare blanket for the sofa. He buried his face into the pillow smelling her strawberry shampoo. Sleep wouldn't come. Johnny stepped out onto the porch and sat on the swing. He was exhausted, but his mind spun in circles and he couldn't relax enough to sleep. He looked up at the stars. They blurred and he placed his hands to his face and wept.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

The next morning, Roy woke up early. Slipping on his jeans and t-shirt, he crept out towards the kitchen and found Johnny in the recliner asleep. It was plain from the puffiness and redness around his friend's eyes, he had endured a rough night. Dudley appeared and wove around Roy's feet. He went into the kitchen and poured a scoop of dry food into the cat's bowl. "Here you go fella," Roy crooned softly as he stroked the cat's head. He started a pot of coffee and then stepped out onto the back patio. Faint streaks of light shone in the East. Quick calculations in his head equaled nine hours had passed since someone had last seen JJ. Roy poured a cup of coffee and then went back out to sit on the step on the patio.

Around six a.m., Roy looked up to see a white haired lady pulling into the driveway. "Hello young man," she said. "I am Vera Platt. I attend church with Johnny and JJ. She held out her hand to shake his.

"Roy, Roy DeSoto," Roy replied.

"Yes, of course. You're Johnny's best friend and former partner. It is wonderful to meet you. I wish it was not due to such a horrible circumstance," Vera said. "Well, I don't want to intrude. I am so glad you're here for him. I just wanted to drop off some food. If you can help me carry it I'll drop it off and go. I hope Johnny's still sleeping?"

"I think he just dropped off fairly recently," Roy admitted as he allowed her to fill his arms with several pans while she carried two paper grocery bags.

They quietly carried them into the house and then stepped back outside. "You'll find a pan of cinnamon rolls and a breakfast casserole. The bread sack is full of chicken salad sandwiches and there is a Tupperware bowl of fruit salad. I also think you will find a strawberry cake and a bag of chips. Someone else will drop by dinner mid-afternoon. I'll be in touch to see if we need to plan meals for tomorrow as well," Vera added kindly.

"Thanks so much. I know Johnny will appreciate it," Roy replied. "I think tomorrow my wife is lining up meals with some of the firemen's wives. At least that's what she told me."

Vera smiled. "Of course, you're right. Joanne, isn't it? Rachel put me in touch. Well, I'll call her to double check on tomorrow. And please tell Johnny we can help with child care as well. He has my number. Also, remind him we are praying. I'll see myself out Mr. DeSoto." Vera then quietly left.

Johnny woke up at 7:00 a.m. Brian and Nova were stirring. Roy had already gotten Nova changed. He'd put the egg casserole in to warm 45 minutes earlier. Bleary-eyed, Johnny had helped dish up food for the kids and then at Roy's urging went to take a shower.

By 8:00 am, Roy and Johnny sat eating when Rachel came into the house. Brian was watching TV and Nova was sitting on Johnny's lap at the kitchen table looking at a book. Little was said other than a mannerly good morning. Shortly after that, Rachel called the school to request work be gathered for Brian. "There is a family emergency," Rachel explained not wanting to go into details yet. As soon as details got out, it was more likely Brian would hear things. Johnny wanted to keep those from him for as long as possible.

Eric called to check in. Rachel had answered the phone. "Hey Rachel, it's Eric," he'd began. "How are you doing? Did you get some rest?"

"Some but most of the night I dreamed or tossed and turned. You?" she replied.

"Yeah, sounds like my night. How's Cap?" Eric asked as worried about her as he was his captain and missing wife.

"Quiet, reserved," she said. "I saw lights on most of the night through my window. I don't think he slept much. Roy is here. He seems to be able calm him, keep him grounded," she stated sadly.

"That's not much like Cap. I'm glad Roy stayed. Uh, I have a few things I need to do this morning, but I can come this afternoon. That is unless I'm needed there," Eric said.

"You do what you need to Eric," she answered a bit disappointed. "Not that you won't be missed. Brian and Nova were asking about you," Rachel added. Eric chuckled and hung up to get started on his errands.

An hour later, Johnny answered the door and visited with the police about the case on the porch. Al ittle headway was made overnight. " Shane Fowler is cleared. He was filling in for another man at his station. We do have one lead," Officer Vince Howard shared. "A Cheryl Hamm is a newer member of the group. She is going through a bitter divorce after her sexual assault by a stranger. Apparently, her husband, Brett has a record for DUI and several times police have been called to their house due to a domestic disturbance. I talked to the responding officers, Johnny. The wife wouldn't press charges, but she had been worked over pretty good the last time. He had been mouthing off about getting his wife back to co-workers. Bret missed work today and didn't call in. Right now we are looking for him. Things are looking good this may be the guy. I think we're close, Johnny," Vince patted Johnny on his shoulder. With a promise to keep him updated, Vince left to get back to the search. Thinking about his Janey being with that monster wasn't very encouraging. Shaking off the negative thoughts, he tried to be glad they had a lead, a promising one.

Through the screen door, Johnny could hear Nova's little voice calling for her mother. Pushing his own worry aside, he went in to comfort and distract his daughter. Johnny swooped up his daughter knowing it made her giggle. Nova laughed and pressed her little face into his chest. "Mama?" she asked him plaintively.

Johnny's eyes filled and he swallowed hard before saying, "She's out Nova-kins. She'll be back soon. How's about a swing?" he coaxed trying to sound cheerful trying to deflect her question. He took her outside to push her in the swing.

Roy watched the whole interaction. His own eyes filled with tears as he watched his friend deal with his daughter asking for her mother and having no answers to give. Alone, he wiped his eyes and then took a deep breath. Brian was with Rachel working on school work. When he was done, Roy had promised to take him to the ranch to tend the horses. Roy figured Johnny would want to stay near the phone and thought the distraction would be good for Brian. Mostly Roy felt useless. He couldn't fix the worry or the pain Johnny was going through. He hoped just being there was enough.

When Brian was done with his school work, Rachel brought him back to the house and she prepared lunch for them all using the sandwiches Vera brought. Already, the church had called and dinner would be dropped off later that afternoon along with the next day's meals. Joanne had coordinated with the ladies and offered to bring the food over. She thought she'd wait to bring it until Chris and Jennifer were home from school thinking a visit from cousins would help Brian and Nova. She'd called the house and Roy was glad for his wife's forethought. "I love you Joanne. I know Johnny appreciates this all," he told her over the phone.

"I love you too. I just can't believe all this is really happening. See you soon darling," Joanne had replied before hanging up to attend to all the details of the meals and her own tasks.

Johnny showed up with a plate of lunch for Roy and one for himself as Roy hung up the phone. "Rachel thought we both could eat out front. She is taking the kids to the park. I guess she already called the McLaughlins and Longbows about the horses so that is all taken care of for now."

The men went out to sit on the front swing. Roy began to eat and noted Johnny was just sitting. "I think you're supposed to take bites, chew and swallow, Junior. It's called eating," he teased lightly.

Johnny snapped out of his daze. "Yeah, yeah, sure," he answered with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. Johnny picked up his sandwich, looked it over and then sat it down again. "I can't stop thinking about it Roy. That Bret Hamm character might have JJ. Maybe it isn't him but a complete stranger, someone no one knows. Is she hurt? Is he hurting her now? Is she even still alive?" he finished his voice cracking growing quieter with each statement. He abruptly stood up and sat the paper plate of food on the porch railing. Pacing he began to talk rapidly, "I gotta do something. A search, I can organize a search. Yeah, plenty of people at the department and hospital would help, right? Yeah, that's it. Posters, we need posters. People can hand them out and put them up all over the place." By now, he had raked his hands through his hair until it almost stood straight out. His arms so animated he almost whacked them against the side of the house.

"John," Roy began, "Where would we search that the police haven't already looked?" Then he waited. Johnny stopped mid pace. His face changed from scrunched up in thought to angry.

"Damn it Roy! I can't just sit here. I gotta do s_omething_. The waiting is, is…" Johnny stopped mid-sentence and turned away with his hands to his face.

Placing his almost untouched food on the swing seat, Roy got up and walked over closer to Johnny. "I get it John, I do. I can't really know what this is like, but I can imagine. It would be hell. You are doing something Johnny. The kids need you right now. You're doing an amazing job with them, really amazing," Roy had placed a hand on his friend's shoulder and felt the slight convulsions that came with crying. Roy pulled his friend into an embrace and let him cry. Earlier he'd felt useless, and now that he had a way to help he decided the feeling wasn't any better.

That night, after Joanne came to bring dinner around 4:30, the DeSotos stayed for a short visit and left at dinner time. Jenny had played with Nova. Chris and Brian had messed with his Legos. Later, Johnny had insisted that Roy go home to his family for a while. "Pally, I've really appreciated you being around, really. I'll be fine for a bit on my own. I got the kids to care for and I'll call if I hear anything. Go be with Joanne and your kids, Roy. They need you." he told him. After hugs all around, Roy'd transferred his camping stuff to his car and gone home.

Johnny had told Rachel to take some time for herself. "You've been a tremendous help, but you need some downtime. Go see a movie, or read, or something Rachel. We'll be fine, okay?" Reluctantly, Rachel agreed and decided to do some window shopping. She'd called Eric and asked if he'd want to tag along. Being alone didn't appeal to her and she knew Eric would understand if she wasn't good company. They pulled away from the house about five. Brian moped about nothing catching his interest. The cartoons were reruns and his toys didn't hold his interest. Nova was clingy and out of sorts. Johnny ended up playing hide and seek with the kids in the house for a bit. Later, he was the 'patient' and let Brian play paramedic. Nova was fine just plastering band aides all over her dad's arms and legs. Johnny knew it was going to be painful ripping them all off later. At least Brian wasn't moping and Nova wasn't whining or asking for her mommy. Later, Johnny served dinner to the kids and cleaning up the dishes.

Roy arranged for Dixie to stop by that evening for a while. Johnny was glad for the visit and secretly dreaded being alone. She'd made cookies with the kids to give to the Longbows and McLaughlins for caring for the horses. Bath and bedtime routines were different with Dixie that many of the questions about JJ were forgotten. Johnny had rocked Nova to sleep and Dixie read books to Brian and tucked him in. Brian had asked about JJ, but kept referring to her as 'she' or 'her'. The fear of losing another adult from his life was evident and raw. She'd rubbed his back and sang a song her mother had crooned to her as a young girl. After he was asleep, Dudley had curled up next to the boy.

Johnny was already sitting on the couch when she came out of Brian's room. Johnny was staring off into space, but quickly turned to great her. "Tiger, you look like a first-aid nightmare," she quipped.

"Truth be told Dix, I dread taking them all off. At least it diverted the kids for a bit," he answered with a shrug and a slight grin. Dixie helped remove all the band aids. Even with using a saturated rag to loosen the adhesive, Johnny had several patches of hairless skin on his arms and legs. At first, he'd tried to hide how much it smarted. By the eighteenth band-aid they were both stifling giggles at the ludicrous situation they were in.

"I haven't seen you this red since that time you made a date on the same night with two different nurses and you got busted by them both in the emergency room hallway," she'd teased.

"Hey, that was a TOTAL accident, Dix. I told you that. I told _them_ that. One of those dates was made while I was under the influence of pain meds," he protested until he saw her eyes sparkling. He rolled his eyes in mock irritation. Dixie laughed. She was great at keeping him distracted and they'd reminisced and laughed. Johnny figured Roy had arranged her coming over and was glad. Dixie was the big sister he never had. She'd stayed almost until 1 am watching some horrid late show and then headed home. She called him 15 minutes later as he'd requested letting him know she was safely home. He'd heard Rachel come home around midnight.

Now Johnny only had about seven hours alone until Roy would be back over. He'd roamed the house feeling antsy until he'd found JJ's Bible. Johnny sat and read the notations in the margins and looked at all the marked passages. He'd noted the worn places on the cover where JJ's hands had held the book finally falling asleep in his recliner as the book fell onto his lap.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Eric reported for work the next morning after spending some time at the Gage's later the day before. At roll call, the substitute captain for Johnny asked him to explain Gage's absence as the two had agreed before shift. In silent horror, the men listened to the story of JJ's disappearance. "Roy DeSoto is with him now," Eric finished. The men were stunned. Throughout the shift, they thought often of their captain and his missing wife. Anytime the station phone rang hopeful looks were unanswered.

Over 36 hours and no sign of her yet he thought as he ran his hands through his hair. Where the hell is she? He was supposed to be listening to Brian read, but his mind had wandered. Johnny turned to Brian whom he was helping with the school work Roy had gotten from Brian's teacher. "Buddy, can you finish this on your own? After that you can take a break if you'd like. We only have spelling left."

Brian looked up, "Okay Dad," he replied. "I'll come out in a bit."

Being called Dad by Brian gave Johnny a warm feeling. He gently smoothed the boy's hair and stood up to go into the other room.

Seated on the couch, Roy perused the newspaper and looked up as he heard Johnny's footfalls on the wood floor of the hallway. "Hey Junior, you want a section?" Roy inquired. Johnny shook his head and waved him off. Absentmindedly, Johnny headed for the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee. As he sipped it, he spied Rachel out back with Nova blowing bubbles and Nova laughing as she tried to capture each one. The sight brought a wan smile to his face that lingered for a bit. Roy quietly came into the kitchen to warm up his coffee. "She's adorable," he remarked, "Nova's really going after those bubbles. Such tenacity reminds me of someone I know," he finished gentle nudging his friend with his elbow.

Johnny chuffed, "Yeah, she is a chip off the old block for sure, huh? But, you know, there is something about her eyes, the look in them when she laughs that looks just like Janey." He watched out the window in somber silence.

Roy nodded even though Johnny wasn't looking at him, "I can see it too, John. I can see it too." He placed his hand on Johnny's shoulder for a moment and then let it drop off as he left Johnny gazing out the window.

It wasn't long after that Johnny came into the living room. "Roy, I really need to get out of here for a bit. Brian only has spelling left to finish up. Would you mind holding down the fort for a bit?" Johnny asked.

"No, of course not, I can do that," Roy said. "Where can we reach you if we hear anything?" Roy asked not expecting that he would need to contact him.

"I think I'll drive over to the church for a bit. Janey always found it to be calming there. Maybe I will too," Johnny replied. Picking up Janey's Bible he pulled his car keys out of his pocket and headed for the Rover.

It was only a 20 minute drive to the small non-denominational church they attended each week. Johnny saw one car in the graveled parking lot and knew Pastor Ron was there. He pulled up, parked, locked the doors and slowly walked into the church holding the book in one hand. The sanctuary was only lit by light through the simple stained glass windows and quite empty. He slipped in a pew about 1/3 of the way up, laid the Bible on the seat, and sat with hands clasped on top of the pew in front of him. The quiet was more relaxing that he had thought it would be. Not as good as time outdoors, but still helpful. After about 30 minutes, he leaned back into the pew and picked up the Bible flipping aimlessly through stopping whenever a notation caught his eye. Two verses with notations particularly caught his eye and he read them several times. One was in Jeremiah and the other in Psalms. Both had been highlighted and dated right after the time he had met Janey. Hearing footsteps, he looked up and saw Ron Stapleton, the pastor walking towards him.

"John, I didn't hear you come in. I heard about Janey and planned to come. Then Mrs. George got sick and passed away. I have been at the hospital with her family and preparing the for the memorial service. I am sorry I haven't made it out to your house," he said with concern on his face.

"The ladies have been taking good care of us," Johnny replied, "I didn't even think to call you. Sheesh, I'm sorry."

He waved Johnny's concern away. "Not even an issue. How can I help? Do you want company?" he asked.

"I came here since Janey always said it calmed her. So I brought her Bible to sit for a bit," she said gesturing at the open book. "Hers is heavily marked and reading it helps me feel closer to her," Johnny explained blandly. The two men sat silently in the pew, the minister nodding thoughtfully. Ron had an easy way about it and Johnny felt no compulsion to say any more.

Then in the background, they both heard the phone start to ring. "I'd ignore it, but it might be about the service," he said apologetically, placed a hand on Johnny's shoulder, and then sprinted to his office. Johnny was alone and picked up the Bible once again. In a few minutes he heard Pastor Ron calling his name. "John? John? It's for you. Someone named Roy is on the phone."

Johnny jumped up and hurried towards the office the book in his hand. He took the receiver, placed the Bible on the desk beside the phone, and placed the receiver to his ear. "Thanks pastor. Roy? Is everything okay?" Johnny asked anxiously thinking perhaps one of the kids had been hurt.

"Johnny, they found her. She's alive. There was a car accident and she was discovered in the back on the floor. She being taken to Rampart now," Roy breathlessly reported.

"Janey's alive. They found her?" his voice broke with emotion. His words ran together as he asked, "How long ago? Is she hurt?"

Roy answered, "I just heard from the police and all they told me was she was found alive and was taken to the hospital. That's all they said. I'll stay here with the kids as long as I can. You go on to the hospital."

"Okay, thanks Roy. I'll be in touch," Johnny replied and hung up. "Pastor, I need to go. They've found Janey and she is being taken to the hospital," he reported breathlessly.

"I'm so thankful, John. I'll follow…" he started and then the phone rang again. "I need to get that and if I can, I'll be to the hospital shortly," Ron replied and then answered the phone. John nodded and gave a quick wave as he rushed out of the door.

Johnny had put together some clean clothes and other personal items that first night that Janey was missing in hopes he would need to take them to her when she was found. He'd ended up placing them in the Rover the next day. Now he was glad they were already to go and he could head straight to the hospital. If she wasn't critical, she might get to come home after treatment he thought. He calculated the quickest way to Rampart from where he was and was relieved to hit most of the lights when they were green. It took all his concentration to keep his foot from being too heavy and cause him to speed. Driving up to the emergency entrance, he parked. Pulling the keys from the ignition as he jumped out of the vehicle in one motion, Johnny locked the front driver's door went straight inside. He could retrieve the clean clothes later. With long strides, he rushed to the doors and strode towards the admittance desk. "Can you tell me…" he started and then heard his name called. Turning he saw Dr. Brackett walking purposely towards him.

"Johnny, come this way," he directed and guided him to his office.

"Where's Janey? How is she?" Johnny blurted out.

"Sit down, Johnny. JJ's fine, but the state she came in made it too difficult to assess her injuries. She needed to be washed in order to remove all the debris," he explained. "Apparently, she had been somewhere with a dirt floor and was caked with it along with other things." Dr. Brackett paused before going on. "Johnny, she wasn't sexually assaulted, but was badly beaten. I don't believe she has any life threatening injuries, which is good. She looks pretty rough, Johnny and you need to brace yourself. JJ has several injuries to her face that are swollen, most likely from blunt force trauma. Stitches and time will take care of those." Johnny paled and nervously ran his hand through his hair. "I suspect she has multiple contusions and abrasions all over her trunk, legs and arms. Some of those will most likely have infections and we'll need to assess those. X-rays show no skull fractures or broken bones, but deep bruising is quite likely. She's very dehydrated and weak, but awake and fairly oriented." Kel stopped, got up, smiled and placed a hand on Johnny's shoulder, "She's been asking for you since she got here. I imagine she's ready to be assessed by now. How about we go find her?" Johnny sprung out of the chair and opened the door for Kel gesturing for him to go first.

Dixie was in the hallway, slightly wet and smiling. "This way Johnny," and pointed to room four and went in before him. Pausing briefly to take a deep breath and blow it out, Johnny entered the exam room.

Curled on her side, with her back to the door was Janey. Lying on a gurney, she was covered with not only a sheet, but several blankets. An IV bag hung from a pole and the tubing snaked under the blankets to her arm. Her brown hair was damp and plastered to her head. Dixie maneuvered around John and took another blood pressure reading. He walked around and saw her face. One eye was swollen shut and was ringed with a vicious bruise. Above the other eye was a nasty bump crowned with a one inch cut. Her lip was twice the normal size and sported several splits. On one side of her face, her cheek and forehead were a constellation of scrapes. All this took only seconds to see and Johnny felt his eyes fill and his blood boil. He was not taken to violence, but at that moment knew he could have easily been able to hurt another human being. JJ's eyes were shut and as she took breaths she made small groans. Dixie asked, "JJ you still feeling cold?"

She answered softly, "Not as much. Is John here yet?"

"Janes, I'm right here," Johnny answered as he reached out to touch her hair since it seemed the only place he didn't see an injury.

Her brown eye opened and her voice shook, "John?" was all she squeezed out. He leaned over closer and JJ reached up to pull him closer. Sobs racked her body and Johnny carefully pulled her close. Dixie discretely moved to leave but couldn't avoid hearing some of the reunion.

"Shh, it's over Angel," he soothed, "you're safe Janes. I'm right here," as he carefully rubbed her back.

JJ clung tighter ignoring the pain, "I was afraid I'd never see you again, John. I thought he was going to kill me," she stuttered out between sobs. Johnny murmured to her as he held her and waited for her to calm.

Ron Stapleton arrived seconds after Johnny went into the room. Dixie explained JJ's condition and escorted him to the waiting area. He immediately went to the pay phone and made a few calls to start the information chain at the church. After a few minutes, Dr. Brackett entered the exam room returning with Dixie. JJ was calmer and Johnny had just taken several tissues from his wife and thrown them in the trash. "JJ," Dr. Brackett began, "X-rays show no broken bones or skull fracture. You have a concussion, but the danger has passed with that. Now we just need to check you over for external injuries. Johnny, I need to have you wait outside."

"Can't he stay? I really need him to stay," JJ implored, "Please?" JJ felt a tide of panic at the thought of Johnny leaving. She had been asking for him since she had been found in the car. Now that he was here, she loathed him leaving. "Please?" she repeated.

Johnny added, "I'll stay out of the way Doc, promise."

Kel sighed gruffly and then smiled slightly, "Any trouble and you have to go. I guess I can bend the rules." Methodically, Dr. Brackett checked JJ for other injuries reporting any findings to Dixie who then noted them on the chart. It took almost fifteen minutes to finish the exam so he could start treating her. "JJ, looks like you have three cuts that need stitches. The one on your forehead hasn't begun to heal due to a small infection. Several places on your arms and legs also have infections. Dixie, take swabs from each area and have them cultured." JJ was started on a broad spectrum antibiotic and the other scrapes and cuts were treated and bandaged. The entire time Johnny was careful to stay out of the way but still managed to be close enough that JJ could at least see him. When Dr. Brackett began the stitches, he began to drape JJ's face and she stiffened.

"Dr. Brackett, I've spent most of the past three days either covered with something or in pitch dark. I don't want you to cover my face to stitch my forehead. Can you leave the drapes off?" she requested with a quiver in her voice and fear radiating out of her eye betraying how she really felt. Johnny's heart twisted and he felt a twinge of nausea. "Please?"

Kel looked at JJ and then Johnny, "Yeah, sure," as he handed the drapes back to Dixie. Without any more conversation, other than Dr. Brackett's requests for instruments, he set about suturing the cuts on JJ's head, side and arm. Occasionally, Johnny saw the looks exchanged between Dr. Brackett and Dixie. They were both concerned for JJ's state of mind. Kel knew he'd need to ask for a psychiatric consult. Hell, he thought wryly. From what little he had gleaned of what she had been through anybody would. It didn't escape their notice that JJ clung to Johnny's hand during like it was an anchor in a storm.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

After much discussion, Dr. Brackett relented and allowed JJ to go home after receiving another IV of fluids and demonstrating she could hold down some food. Dixie went to put in an order for chicken soup, crackers and milk leaving JJ, Johnny and Dr. Brackett alone in the room. "If the cultures come back with infection that needs more care than you can give at home, you must come in immediately."

"Do you think they will?" Johnny inquired a bit concerned.

"Well, I actually doubt it or I wouldn't agree to her leaving, but I still don't like JJ leaving tonight," Kel conceded with a grimace. "With all the trauma, I'd rather keep her here just in case."

JJ chimed in, "I get the caution, but I really, really need to just go home. I will come back if you find something that needs treatment here. I've got the best paramedic in the county to care for me." The anxiety radiated off of her. Brackett weighed the toll of the anxiety in her recovery against the possibilities of complications in his mind.

Dr. Brackett heaved a huge sigh. "What I give in to for you two," he groused good naturedly. "Don't leave before I see you, got it?" He said with a finger point, then gave a quick half-smile and hurried off to other patients and a mountain of paperwork.

"I know I'm being childish about this," JJ began, "It's hard to express the compulsion I am feeling to get home. Stupid, I guess." She closed her eye and grimaced with frustration.

"Shoot, I get it, Angel. I know I how felt about going home when I got injured on the job. Honestly, I'd rather have you home too," Johnny admitted, "I just don't want you to compromise your health or recovery, you know?" He petted her hair as he talked.

'Mmm, that's nice," JJ murmured and he continued for several minutes until a candy striper brought her food. Johnny stopped mid-stroke when the twenty year old came in with the tray. The young woman was a bit shocked by the sight of JJ's face and taken by the attractiveness of the man. So this was the Johnny Gage that was the talk of many coffee breaks she had overheard. He was known as an outstanding paramedic and firefighter, courageous and intelligent as well as handsome albeit he had been a shameless flirt. Some of the nurses still talked about him wistfully. Since the kidnapping of his wife, talk about him had been rife.

"Mrs. Gage, here's your food," the young woman chirped. She was an upbeat almost Pollyannaish natured woman. Seeing the much talked about Johnny Gage magnified it due to her nervousness. Right on her heels was Dixie. She knew the overly upbeat and high pitched talk would grate on nerves. Sue Miller was a nice enough girl, just young and green. Plus Dixie had heard all the recent gossip as well and knew the impressionable girl might be too intrusive. Truthfully, the talk bothered Dixie since Johnny had changed as the years had passed. Certainly many of the very nurses that gossiped wouldn't want all their laundry aired at coffee breaks and there would be lots of it to air. Her fondness for him made her protective of him and now also of JJ.

"Thanks, Sue, I've got it from here," she said professionally as she ushered Sue out. Sue got one last quick gawk and gave a smile as she was shepherded out. "Johnny, you have someone out in the waiting area. Maybe now would be a good time to pop down and see him? Ron Stapleton, I believe is his name," Dixie suggested.

"Holy moly! I totally forgot about him", Johnny exclaimed, "Janes, do you mind if I fill him in? I also need call home and let them know how you are and that you are coming home. Roy, Rachel and the kids are waiting to hear."

JJ nodded slowly. "Of course," she said with more confidence than she felt. "I'll see you in a bit. Please thank Ron for coming." He smiled and pushed the door open as he went into the hallway. She was irritated at herself when she felt a surge of panic about Johnny leaving.

Dixie had been arranging the food tray on a rolling table. She moved it towards JJ and then adjusted the gurney so JJ could sit up. "Doesn't look too bad JJ," Dixie paused and looked over to gauge JJ's emotional state.

"At this point, it looks like a feast. It's been so long since I've really eaten anything," JJ joked with a twist of her swollen lips. She began to eat. Dixie placed several drapes over her chest to prevent drabbles.

"You know JJ, it's completely normal to feel panic or distress right now," Dixie observed as she began to tidy the room.

"It's that obvious? Honestly it is disturbing to feel this way, but too upsetting to not give into it." JJ didn't look up. She didn't want to meet Dix's eyes.

Dixie put down the supplies she had been putting away and walked over to JJ. "No one thinks anything about it. It's expected. I'd be more worried if you didn't feel the way you do. Give it time," she kindly told her and put her arm around her shoulders. "Just remember we're here to help. Ask for what you need, okay?" The last statement was punctuated with a warm smile.

'Okay, sure. I do need one thing," JJ admitted.

"Name it."

"Dry blankets? I think most of this broth is soaked into the blankets and now they are sticking to my skin," JJ answered with a raised eyebrow and a look of chagrin. Dixie laughed and got out dry drapes to put under the blankets next to her skin.

"Let's try the straw for the broth. I'll get you another one for the milk. You finish up and we'll change the blankets out, okay?" Dix poked her head out, caught the eye of an orderly and requested the second straw. She'd stay with JJ until Johnny came back Dixie thought.

After filling Ron Stapleton in on JJ's condition, the pastor decided to head back to finish up the funeral service. "I understand her needing time before seeing me. I can't imagine what she's been through. I'll be by soon. Tell JJ we've been praying and will continue to pray for you all." With a warm clap on the back, he scurried down the hall. Johnny smiled at the hurried pace since he rarely saw the man walk slowly. Then he walked to the payphone to call home. Kel walked by and stopped him as he started to insert the dime. "Why don't you use the phone in my office, Johnny," he offered.

"Thanks doc, I appreciate it." Johnny strode over to Dr. Brackett's office to call home with the news. Roy answered the phone. Johnny explained JJ's condition over the phone and that they'd be a bit longer. "She has to finish up her IV liquids and keep some food down before Brackett releases her." He paused and Roy waited. Roy heard the clipped words from Johnny, the flat clinical way he described her condition, the quick huffs, and knew a rant was coming. Sure enough, after the pause, it began. "Roy, the bastard beat the hell out of her. Why, why would anyone do that? What the hell is his problem? Dear God, he just let her sit in a dirt-floored room with no medical care not even a band-aid or a wet cloth? She was barely afforded water and no food. What kinda animal does that? I'm so mad now I could…I could just…" Johnny stopped, huffed in anger and then went quiet. Roy knew there was much he could say. Honestly, he felt much like Johnny but saying so wouldn't help his friend calm down. Taking a breath to calm himself, Johnny continued, "She looks pretty bad, Roy. Much of her face is swollen and so are parts of her body. She wasn't…uh…sexually assaulted, thank God, but I don't think I saw much of her that wasn't black and blue, cut, or scraped. Most of her scrapes and cuts were infected. They are culturing drainage to see if it is an infection needing a more aggressive treatment," Johnny finished. Then he added, "Roy, the kids probably need some sort of preparation for seeing her. Janey is so skittish I don't feel like I can leave her. Do you think you…?" Johnny began to ask.

"Sure, yeah, of course I'll handle it. Not a problem John. I'll hint it was from the wreck for Nova's benefit. That work?" Roy replied with more assurance than he felt.

"Yeah, yeah, I don't want to scare her. Brian will have plenty of questions. Janey and I will deal with that. I appreciate you paving the way. It's a lot to ask, Roy. I know that," Johnny said with his voice cracking.

"It's not a problem, Junior," Roy answered and he really felt that way. It was such a relief to know JJ was coming home.

Hey Roy, do you think you could call my station and let them know she's okay? I want to get back to Janey."

"Absolutely, consider it done, John." Roy replied know that would be easy to do. He hung up a bit later and with a deep breath he went to prepare Rachel, Brian and Nova for JJ's homecoming.

The kids were wild with excitement to hear JJ was coming home in a few hours. "Kids, come sit here by me for a minute," Roy instructed. Nova clambered up on his knee and Brian sat by him on the couch. Rachel sat nearby on an overstuffed chair listening in and observing it all.

"What's wrong, Uncle Roy? What's wrong with Moms?" Brian asked. Roy wondered where Moms came from, but didn't comment. Brian hadn't used anything other than 'her' or 'she' to refer to JJ since the whole mess began.

"Well, um Moms was found in a car after it was in an accident. She is okay, but she got a lot of bumps and owies," he explained trying to help the almost 2 year old and the almost 8 year old understand. "She has some stitches and lots of scrapes and stuff. Parts of her face and body are swollen from all the owies, so she looks kinda funny. She'll need lots of rest for a while to get better. I know she's missed you all a lot. As soon as the doctors say, she will come home with your dad, okay?" Brian nodded silently.

"I can kiss the owies, kay? That makes mine feel all better," Nova said with a half grin that echoed her father's. Roy smiled and hugged her.

"She'll be okay, right?" Brian pressed. He knew that Moms had disappeared and that someone may have kidnapped her. He wondered what had happened. Brian also remembered that Nova wasn't supposed to hear about any of that.

Roy pulled him to his side. "Absolutely buddy. She'll be just fine." He ruffled his hair. Brian nodded solemnly and then brightened a bit.

Brian hopped off the couch. "I'm gonna make a sign for her then. Nova, you wanna help?" Nova squealed and they went off to locate typing paper, tape and crayons.

Rachel wiped her teeming eyes and looked over at Roy. "Is she really okay? What happened?"

Roy sighed and his shoulders sagged. He quietly answered, "She was beaten pretty severely, but only beaten nothing else. She somehow miraculously avoided any broken bones. I suppose it could have been worse. Johnny said she is all black and blue and her face is swollen up." Roy paused before adding, "She's also shaken up and panicky. I don't know why or how it all happened. I don't think Johnny does either. I do know some guy was driving when they wrecked. He was drunk hurt and in the accident. I can only assume it was Brett Hamm, but I don't know that. Uh, Rachel, what's up with Brian using the name 'Moms'?"

"I haven't heard it before either. Since JJ was kidnapped he hadn't really called her anything. I guess since he calls Johnny Dad now, he needed a name for her too. Moms is interesting. I imagine he'll explain it later," she said shrugging. Rachel sat quietly and then straightened her shoulders. "Well, I have some things to do. I need to call Elaine in New York and give her the update and then figure out what we can have for dinner from all those frozen meals that won't be too hard to chew. I imagine JJ's jaws are sore." Rachel stood up to get started.

Roy admired her attitude and shook off his morose mood. He went to gather his belongings and pack up his car. He'd be going home tonight to his own family, and John was bringing the rest of his family home. What was there to be gloomy about? He began to whistle softly as he packed.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Time seemed to crawl by but finally Dr. Brackett was sufficiently satisfied with JJ's condition to release her from the hospital. He pulled Johnny out into the hallway over to an empty corner. Kel sternly said, "I want to hear how JJ is doing tomorrow, Johnny. Blood pressure, pulse, respiration, wound condition, and mental state. Her nervousness is to be expected, but I want to monitor it. If everything looks good, you can just change the dressings at home. She may need professional help to work through the trauma, Johnny. It may be unnecessary, but it's hard to say now." Kel noted Johnny's look of concern. He placed a hand on Johnny's shoulder. "Don't over think it, okay? Just call tomorrow and let me know how it's going," he added less stringently. With a small smile and a pat on the shoulder, Brackett was called to another exam room and to a new patient.

Dixie had helped JJ get dressed and gave some her general directions. "I know you probably know the drill," Dixie said lightly. " However, I've written it down just in case something slips your mind. You go home and take it easy now. JJ, I can't tell you how glad I am you are going to be okay," she ended with gentle touch to JJ's shoulder and a smile.

"Thanks, Dix," JJ replied sitting gingerly on the edge of the gurney.

The door openly suddenly and Johnny came in pushing a wheelchair. With a flourish of his arm he goofily announced, "Your chariot Janey." Dixie smiled and rolled her eyes affectionately. Johnny had matured over the years, but she liked that he had kept his goofy charm. He set the wheelchair brakes, bent up the foot rests to make sitting in the wheelchair easier and moved to stand in front of JJ. "You ready?" he asked.

JJ chuffed in amusement, "Way past ready. I'm just thinking about the best way to get from here to there."

"You can put one arm around me and use me as a crutch to ease your way off the gurney. Then lean on me if you need to as you walk over to the wheelchair. OR I can just pick you up and carry you," he added with a sly grin.

"Yeah, I appreciate the offer, but let's do the first idea, John," she said smirking at her husband. Carefully, she eased off the table onto her feet wincing more than once. Johnny was a bit surprised at the amount of support JJ needed to slip off of the gurney. She was able to walk to the chair with very little support as long as she walked quite slowly. However, sitting down was quite an ordeal. JJ was embarrassed with the groans that escaped as she sat down. "Sheesh, without your help love, I would have fallen flat on my face, and it's messed up enough as it is," she quipped.

"Eh, you did great Janes. Just relax and I'll do the drivin'," Johnny told her with a light kiss. Dixie handed the dismissal papers to JJ. She held the papers from Dixie in her lap. He wheeled her down the hallway and through the automatic doors, and over to the Rover. After getting her settled, he allowed Dixie to return the wheelchair. JJ had leaned back into the seat and closed her eyes. The pain medication made her sleepy. They exchanged some small talk about how Brian and Nova had handled her absence. Johnny also explained that Nova knew few details about the incident, but Brian knew more. "I didn't really completely explain the predicament to him either, Janes. But since I figured he'd hear stuff at school I decided he probably needed to know a bit more than she. Better facts from me than rumor from others," Johnny finished. JJ nodded her agreement.

Arriving home, two little faces quickly dissipated from the window and the back screen door slammed open as they ran from the house followed by Rachel and Roy. Brian held a sign saying 'Welcome Home!' with hearts and a picture of a yellow cat while Nova hopped from one foot to another. Roy and Rachel held them back so Johnny could safely pull into the driveway. Dudley was perched in the dining room window.

"Momma, Moms!" was called out simultaneously from the two children as they rushed around to the passenger side. Johnny got out of the car and went over to get JJ's door. As he opened her door, Brian held up the sign he and Nova created. Nova stopped cold when she saw her mommy's face. "Momma?" she asked uncertainly.

"Hey Nova, I do look a bit different, huh? It will go back to like before in a few days sweetie," JJ said reassuringly. Upon hearing her mother's voice Nova walked quickly up to her mother and placed her head in JJ's lap.

"I miss you Momma," the little girl said quietly and tears slipped down JJ's face as she bent lower to hug her daughter. Brian's face was pale as he got the first look at JJ condition.

"Hey, Moms, welcome home," Brian forced out and tried to hide his shock. "Nova and I made you this sign." He held it up higher for her to see.

"Brian, that is a wonderful surprise sweetie. Come here and give me a little hug," JJ encouraged. It didn't slip past her that Brian had called her Moms. She wondered if he really had added the 's' or if she misheard him. In any case the endearment was sweet.

Johnny knelt down to talk to Nova and she nodded and smiled going with him to the back of the Rover. Brian came forward and JJ took the sign. She held out her arms and Brian leaned in for a hug and melted into her as she wrapped her arms around him. She was glad he couldn't see her wince as she embraced him. "I missed you Brian and I love the sign," she murmured quietly into his ear. The little boy finally let loose and began to sob.

"I didn't think you'd come back. I couldn't lose two mothers, I just couldn't," Brian said in a strangled voice. JJ just held him and let him cry. As he pulled back, he peered closely at her face. "Does it hurt much, Moms? It sure looks like it does."

"It hurts some, but being home makes it hurt less," JJ answered as she took the sign and admired the neat lettering, the cat drawing, the hearts, and Nova's scribbles in the corner. About then Nova came around from the back of the Rover with her father carrying a bag with some supplies Dixie had sent home for JJ and she was smiling broadly. Johnny asked if Brian could go stand near the door and to hold it for JJ. With Roy's help, Johnny was able to help JJ up and then she walked gingerly towards the back door. Nova scrambled into the house well before her mom and Rachel helped her put the supplies in the bathroom nearest to the master bedroom. Brian dutifully held the door open as JJ painfully moved into the house. After being settled sitting on the bed, JJ hugged Roy. "I don't know what we would have done without your help Roy," she told him and kissed his cheek. He flushed and smiled bashfully.

"Just so glad your home safe, JJ. Now I think I'm gonna get out of your hair." Roy turned to Johnny. "I'll be in touch, Junior," he remarked as he patted Johnny's back.

"Sounds good old man," Johnny quipped back good naturedly. Roy bid good bye to Rachel and the kids then unlocked his car and drove home.

After helping JJ with removing her shoes and socks, Johnny insisted she rest for a bit. He covered her with a light blanket they kept folded at the end of their bed. "Angel, you need some rest. Call if you need anything. Are you okay? Can I get something for you before I leave you to rest?"

"Can you open the drapes?" she requested. "I'd like to see the trees and sky as I drift off." He gently kissed her lips and pulled the drapes. Nova padded in and handed her momma her favorite stuffed toy, Baby Cow.

"Baby Cow always helps me feel better, Momma," she explained.

JJ pulled the small toy close. "Thanks sweetie. I appreciate it. He is pretty soft," she replied, "How about a kiss for me before I rest?" With a tentative kiss on her momma's cheek, Nova shimmied off the bed and scooted out of the door. Johnny had explained about JJ needing lots of rest and quiet that night. Leaving the door slightly ajar, he went out to the living room to read the paper. A short time later, Brian set Dudley outside of the master bedroom. He'd picked him up off of his own bed, carried him down the hallway and then encouraged the cat to go into the room. Dudley quietly padded into the bedroom, lightly jumped to the bed and after sniffing JJ's hair he curled up against her stomach and purred.

It was a few hours later, when JJ awoke and opened her eyes to the sight of a late afternoon sky and swaying trees through the window. Dudley felt her stir and greeted her with a short trill before standing, stretching and then turning in a circle before again lying down against her legs. "Hey Moms," Brian said. He was stretched out on Johnny's side of the bed with a book in his hand. "I was just reading my new library book. Should I get Dad?"

"I'm okay for now, Brian. So what'cha reading?" JJ asked grogglily.

"Oh, a book called Tuck Everlasting," he replied. "It's pretty good. I just started it, though."

"By Natalie Babbitt, right?" JJ said. "It's a really good one. I think you'll like it."

"Hey, Moms?"

"Yeah, Brian?"

"Um, is it okay if I call you Moms? I mean, I had my first Mom and now you're my second Mom so I thought two mothers or moms," Brian explained a bit quietly and rapidly. He was looking down at his lap while he talked.

"I'd love that Brian," JJ answered putting her hand on the boy's head lightly.

"Good, 'cuz I kinda wanted to call you that," he said with a small smile. "So do you need Dad? He said you might when you woke up. Nova wanted him to push her on the swing after her nap, so he's out back with her. I can get him for you." Brian had already sat up on the edge of the mattress.

"I'd appreciate that, buddy. I do kinda need him for a minute," JJ admitted. Brian picked up the bookmark from the side table, slipped it between the pages where he stopped, closed the book, placed the book on the spread and then shot out of the room. She could hear his sneakers hit the wooden floor with a fast rhythm and as he hit the screen door she could hear him call out.

"Dad, Moms is awake and needs you for a minute," he stated loudly.

JJ could hear muffled voices; Johnny's, Nova's and Brian's. Rachel's voice joined them. Then she heard the door squeak open and click shut. The sounds of the kids laughing in the backyard drifted through the door and she heard Johnny's footfalls as he came towards and into the bedroom.

"Janes," he said and his eyes softened, "You need more pain medicine or maybe need to go to the bathroom?"

"Yeah, to both, but first I think I just need you for a bit," she said patting his side of the bed. Johnny flipped off his shoes with the opposite foot, placed Brian's book on the side table, and slipped onto the spread. Pulling her into his arms, Johnny tucked her head under his chin and JJ burrowed the side of her face into his chest. Her hot, silent tears soaked his shirt.


End file.
